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Sparks

Most people think that cemeteries are dreadful places. Not me. Not because I haven't lost anyone close to me. Actually, I like cemeteries especially because I lost someone so close to me.

About seven years ago, my maternal grandfather died of a rare disease. Of all the people in my family, I had always felt closest to my grandfather. He understood me the most. He gave me the confidence that I could do anything I wanted.

He died during my last year in high school. He wasn't around to see me get accepted to the college of my dreams. He had been my biggest champion about college. It had really hurt not to be able to share it with him.

Everyone has his or her own beliefs about people who die. For the longest time, I didn't go to the cemetery. I thought that if I didn't see his epitaph, he wouldn't really be dead. He would be in a long trip, where I couldn't reach him. But like all trips, his would eventually end and he'd be back one day.

About three months after his death, my English teacher mentioned something about how she liked cemeteries so much. I was baffled by her comments. I stayed after class to talk to her and asked her how she could feel that way about a cemetery.

She told me that it was hard to explain and that I should go see it for myself. I had the highest respect for my teacher and wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Without telling anyone in my family, I went to my grandfather's cemetery.

I had never been in a cemetery before. I mean, I had driven by them, but I have never actually been in one. I tried to walk really slowly and relax. My heart was beating pretty hard. It was a warm and sunny day and I noticed that the place was covered with greens. It was so quiet.

I started looking at the stones. I read a couple of names out loud. Here lied someone's beloved. As I walked down the hill, I stopped when I noticed a familiar name, "Hugo Grunberg." My paternal grandfather. I had never had the chance to meet my paternal grandfather because he died two years before I was born. Here I was staring at his name. No one had told me that he was in the same place as my other grandfather.

I was overcome with emotions and questions. I wished I had had the chance to know him. I stood there staring at his name for a while and then reminded myself that I wanted to find my other grandfather, so I kept walking downhill.

After a half-hour I found him. Looking at his name, tears started to trickle down my face. I spent the next hour telling him about how I got accepted to college and that I was going to America. I told him that I would make him proud and that I knew he was keeping an eye on me. I leaned over and kissed his name and promised him that I would come and visit a lot more often.

After that day, cemeteries were never the same for me. I visited my grandfather very often and I cherished the quiet sound of the wind rustling on the colorful trees. I went there to talk, to write, to read, and to think. I walked around and looked at people's names. I tried to imagine what their lives must have been like. I tried to picture the people who loved them and their children.

I know it sounds weird to suggest someone go to a cemetery, but I encourage you to try. If your a loved one is deceased, maybe today is a good day to pay a visit. If you don't feel comfortable yet, then go to one that does not hold so many personal memories.

Look at people's names. Imagine what their lives must have been like. Try to think back to the years they were alive. What was happening in the world back then? Look at how old they were when they passed away. Were they young? What do you think was the cause? Did they live a long life? Was it a happy life? Were they alive during a war? Look at couples who were buried together. Were they happy together? Did they die together?

Try to go to a cemetery this week, even you can only stay ten minutes. Try looking at people's names and make up a character with that name. Give the character the same life span in the same period. Fill an entire character sheet on him or her. Write about his fears, his dreams, and his biggest achievements. Anything you want. After that, pick another person. Do the same for that character. Then, put them in a story together. Maybe, after a couple of visits, you might get more comfortable and feel ready to visit your beloved one.