T-zero Xpandizine
 The Writer's E-Zine

 

 Produced and published by the members of Writers' Village University since 1998    ISSN 1521-2639       
01 December 2008
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Ask About It

Margaret I. Carr

What is FREE?

There are those who say nothing is really free, there is always a cost. That cost may include money or it may not. Here is a look at the costs and benefits of some of the Writopia group.

For T-zero Xpandizine

It costs you:

  • a few minutes of time to sign up for a subscription

You get:

  • email notices when the new issues are up
  • email notices of class start dates
  • access to the archives of back issues (online)
  • the new Forum where you can post letters to the editors and contributors.

You DO NOT get:

  • a Password or
  • membership in/access to other sections.

Additional costs: more of your time to log on and read the 'zine (Bob is working on an auto-responder for those who prefer an email version. Since many people have email that only accepts plain text the format will be simplified.)

F2K: Fiction Writing for the New Millennium (offered six times a year, when and where to register and when sessions start announced in email notices.)

It costs you:

  • time
  • effort
  • There may also be a textbook.

You get a Password that gives you:

  • access to six Lessons to help you improve your writing skills;
  • an assigned Study Group;
  • optional Chats twice a week;
  • explanations of the Lessons and
  • help finding your way around the site from a Course Guide who has taken the class;
  • Peer Feedback on your lessons and
  • the opportunity to learn through Giving Feedback to your peers.
  • You also get to know others who have the same dreams and goals.

Note: F2K is the updated free version of Fiction 99 and is available to both non-members and WVU members. It can be taken as many times as you wish but you must re-register for each Session. Course Guides do not give Feedback.

F2K, the pay version

It costs you:

  • time,
  • effort,
  • the fee of $22.00 and
  • the cost of the textbook.

You get a Password that gives you:

  • access to the same Lessons and Chats as the free version
  • PLUS assignment to a small group with an experienced Mentor who will give you individual Feedback.

Fiction 401 (offered once a year, registration to be announced.)

It costs you:

  • time
  • effort
  • the cost of the textbook.

You get a Password that gives you:

  • access to Lessons;
  • a "classroom" board;
  • a class facilitator who will provide explanations and assistance finding your way around;
  • peer Feedback; and
  • the twice a week optional Chats.

Writers Village University (WVU) membership (start anytime)

It costs you:

  • the annual membership fee of $59.00
  • (plus a one time setup fee of $15.00 when you first join);
  • as much time and effort as you can/are willing to put into it; and
  • the cost of the textbooks.

You get a Password that gives you:

  • access, for twelve months from the date of enrollment,
  • to all of the 130 plus
    • Classes,
    • Workshops and
    • Seminars (but not to F2K);
  • all of the Chatrooms;
  • the WVU Library;
  • Study Groups;
  • special Guest and Topic Chats
  • and more.

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Ask About It

Karen Grunberg

Where's the Teacher?

I just wanted to tell you guys my two cents about the subject matter. I have now been a member of WVU for about a year and a half. I took Fiction 99 and mentored it three times. I have taken quite a few of the classes and back when I joined, we had no instructors or facilitators at all. So I am somewhat familiar with WVU, tho I have been spending lots of time writing my book lately, so I haven't been very active and there have been quite a few changes. If anything I say is no longer true, I apologize in advance. Also, bear in mind that I haven't been published and I am no expert at writing whatsoever. Anything I am going to say is just my opinion and nothing more. OK, having said all the disclaimers, here goes :)

When I first joined WVU, I, too, was looking for an instructor. More significantly, since I hadn't really written much fiction before, I was interested in someone telling me whether I was doing it correctly or not. I took some classes where I couldn't even understand what the homework called for. I bought any book anyone mentioned on the subject matter of writing fiction and read them cover to cover. After a while, I realized something:

Fiction cannot be taught.

Many people (especially fiction teachers) might disagree with me, but I still hold on to my opinion. There are parts of writing fiction that can be taught, like grammar, punctuation, POV etc. But for the most part, it's an acquired skill. The best way to get better at writing is by writing. A lot. All the time. The books and the teachers can offer you suggestions on what kind of exercises to do and how to get "your setting to be vivid" or "your characters to be 3-dimensional" but they cannot teach you how to write well. I would think most people write to get published. As a fiction writer, I want others to read my work. I care a little about what the critics might think but I care a lot more about what readers do. Mainly cause I want people (lots of people) to read my books.

Which brings me to my second point (my first point was that I don't think fiction writing can be taught and especially just cause someone is published, it doesn't qualify them to be a good teacher). My second point is that the best critics of your work are your fellow classmates. While they are not the most common audience (and I would highly suggest having non-writers read your work) they are more "typical readers" than any teacher.

Giving feedback is also a fantastic way of improving your own writing skills. Seeing what you consider a mistake in other people's writing (or what you consider a really great idea) makes you go back and look at your own writing in a different way. You can tell your classmate who's worried about feedback that we have feedback seminars at WVU and also there is really no way to give "wrong" feedback unless he is rude in the way he gives it. He can think about it this way: "don't give feedback in a way that you'd be offended to receive it"

So in short, WVU promotes exactly what a beginner (or probably any) writer should be doing. Writing! Don't worry about whether it's right or wrong. That's why you have peer feedback. And don't rely on a teacher to give you feedback, your peers count just as much, if not more. Looking at how many different styles exist and the wide variety of things considered successful and publishable fiction, I don't think anyone can tell you that your way is wrong.

Again, everything I said is my opinion. Normally, I love taking classes and I rely on a teacher heavily. I have decided that fiction, for the most part, is something I can only get better at if I keep doing it and worry less about whether I am following all the rules of a "teacher."

I am sure there will be many people who disagree with me, but I figured I'd share my 2 cents anyhow. The fact that all of us don't think the same way is what makes the world an interesting place for me :) as Suz always says "keep writing"

Karenika

karenika@wvu.org


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Catherine's Kitchen

Catherine Manning

Remember when?

IS IT POSSIBLE to think about food again so soon after Christmas and New Year? Not that I did much eating, but certainly I was on my feet behind the stove for a good part of it. I never cook and eat (I pick!) so after hours in the kitchen, I'm fed up with the sight of food and as for the taste, well my taste buds have gone to bed a long time ago, so of course my confidence goes to bed as well, along with my feet, leaving only me! Lucky I like cooking! This is when I miss the 'smokes' to keep me company, 8.30pm. May 25th 2000 will be a year (Now, 20lbs. later, it's diet time!)

This Xmas was kind of confused, as apart from our family Xmas party which we take turns to have between the six of us and 1999 was my turn, I also had to contend with a Senior Citizens party for 300 and also a Millennium party, apart from the small stuff. I was tempted at times to run for a Xanax, however a few deep breaths and some 'sharp' words were definitely the answer. Things went well for which I was very grateful.

The best was our Sunrise breakfast on January 1st. Barbados was the second in the world to get the sunrise, never mind it was overcast! We overslept till 5.30am and the others got here soon after, coffee and everything was brewing, it was chilly, at least 75F but it was the wind chill factor which carried it down lower. Don't laugh that's chilly here as it's almost 10 degrees lower than midday, so it's quite a drop and we don't have heating! Also sitting here on a cliff open to the ravages of wind, sun and Sahara dust with nothing between me and Africa, the sunrise can be and usually is spectacular. However on January 1st 2000, it was overcast, but turned out to be a lovely day, I took off my jacket at 6.45am in the kitchen.

Our Scrambled Eggs & Smoked Salmon, Fresh Bread with my Barbados Cherry Jam, Coffee, Tea, fresh orange juice soon had us warmed up. On top of that my brother-in-law who is from Guyana did his Garlic Pork. This is one of my favourite things. It's a bit time consuming, but if you like pork and you like garlic, well, say no more. This is served sprinkled with Worcester Sauce and fresh oranges are squeezed on it as well and it's accompanied by Baked Ham and fresh hot crispy buns, which we used to call 'penny loaves' but they cost 25 cents now, so we call them 'salt bread' instead! Oh yes, mustn't forget the Pickled Onions. You don't dare breathe for the rest of the day!

Garlic Pork is actually a Portuguese dish and is traditionally served on Boxing Day morning along with Pink Gins for breakfast, but it did very well on New Years morning as well.

Since we lived on a plantation and had the largest house of a very large family, it became the custom that we had the Christmas party. It was nothing to have 75/80 people for Xmas lunch and the food was spectacular. Roast beef, Pork, Ham, Turkey, Fish, Candied Sweet potato, Yam Pie, Black Eye Peas & Rice and on and on and then dessert. One of our favourites was and still is, Roast Pork.

STUFFED ROAST PORK

  • Pork: 1 leg de-boned
  • Garlic: 2 cloves minced
  • Light Soy Sauce: 1TBS.
  • Worcester Sauce: 1TBS.
  • Barbados Rum: 2 oz.

Season pork inside and out with marinade and let sit for 2 hours or overnight in fridge.

STUFFING

  • Cooked Spinach leaves: 2 cups, squeezed until pulpy
  • Breadcrumbs: 1 cup
  • Wine vinegar: 1 TBS.
  • Sugar: 1 TBS.
  • Salt & Black Pepper to taste
  • Minced herbs: Thyme, Celery, Chive

Mix stuffing ingredients and fill cavity of pork leg. If the pork has skin, score it and rub with vinegar & salt for crackling. Place on rack in roasting pan, pour in water. Have oven heated to HIGH and roast for the first 25 minutes to get the crackling started, turn down to 325F and roast at 25 minutes per pound till done.

Crackling Tip

If the crackling has not come out as crispy as it should, heat a little oil in a saucepan and throw in the crackling, it's quick so be careful not to burn it.

Chose your favourite wine and Bon Appetit.


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Craft Books Review

Margaret I. Carr

MUGGING THE MUSE:Writing Fiction for Love AND Money by Holly Lisle, an e-book available at booklocker $8.95, 193 pp.

HIGHLY Recommended! (Note: opinions expressed in this review are the opinions of the reviewer and do not constitute an endorsement by T-zero or WVU.)

Never give up on your dreams.

So speaks Holly Lisle, a writer who has not given up and who has seventeen books in print to show for it. She has also 'paid the price' and knows that she may have to pay and pay again. In the articles and workshops in this e-book she talks about some of the bruises collected along the way and how you can avoid them.

You may have to dare to be different.

If this means that you have to write at weird times of the day, write at weird times of the day.

You may have to learn esoteric skills.

You haven't had fun until you've tried to decipher the average royalty statement.

You may find the results fall short of expectations.

The usual scheme for the payment of royalties goes like this:The publisher agrees to pay royalties in the first accounting period that comes after the end of the first full year after the book's publication. So if your book is published in January 1998, and your publisher's accounting periods are June and December, you might be able to hope for a royalty statement in June of 1999. Maybe.

You may find an obvious path will leave you facing the wrong way on a one-way street. On collaborating:

If, however, both of you are doing this because you think it will be easier than writing a whole book by yourself, go home, go to bed, and stay there until you come to your senses. Good collaborations are not simply as hard as solo novels; they aren't even merely twice as hard to write as good solo novels. They are harder by a full order of magnitude.

If this book were just about mistakes and setbacks it would still be worth buying. (The article My Five Biggest Career Mistakes, and How You Can Avoid Them, one of three written especially for this e-book, is by itself worth the cost of the book!) Add the workshops that walk you through various troublesome areas, advice on finding an agent, how to work with an editor and encouraging tips such as:

Remember anniversaries.
Keep track of the dates of your successes, no matter how minor they may seem. The day you get up the courage to mail something off for the first time, your first rejection slip, your first personal rejection from an editor, your first acceptance in a non-paying market, your first acceptance in a paying market, your first acceptance in a pro market ... all of these count. Put them up in your workspace, and celebrate them as proof that you're working and producing and improving.

For those days when the words come but they aren't the ones you want:

And as for thinking that your writing stinks . . . don't worry about it. Just keep writing. You'll get better and your internal editor will eventually shut up. And then you'll discover that you're a lot better than you thought you were.

So why an e-book?

I'm currently exploring e-books via the Internet as a method of having fewer canned-bean days and more fresh vegetable days -- we'll see how it goes.

One distinct advantage to publishing an e-book is speed. They can be available for purchase much faster and the results can be seen in as little as a month. They can also be revised much faster. With a print book the publisher is likely to want to sell the copies printed before taking any further action.

So whether you are

  • interested in writing,
  • making progress but want to know how to speed things up without shortening your nose by falling on it repeatedly or
  • just interested in e-books, this e-book is going to give you a lot of value for your money.

The price is right, the pdf platform is usable on both PCs and Macs and it covers most of the questions beginning (and a lot of intermediate) writers would like to ask a "real published author" if they just had a chance.

Note: If you don't have anything that will read pdf you can get Acrobat Reader for either PCs or Macs FREE from Adobe

Many of the articles in this e-book first appeared on Holly Lisle’s Forward Motion Writers’ Pages which also has links to sample chapters for some of her fiction.


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Extra

Suzi Goode

To pay or not to pay

I was recently asked why writers have to pay to enter contests, and why they should if they don't win first, second or third place. This got me thinking about editors who choose to charge reading fees in order for a writer to have his work read.

Most everyone in writing will agree that it is unethical for an editor or literary agency to charge to read your manuscript, whether it is a short story or a novel. (Be warned that literary agents won't place short stories, unless you happen to be as famous as Lawrence Block or Ray Bradbury.) This does not mean that it does not happen. What's a two or three dollar reading fee anyway? Or if you think about it, why not pay a literary agent to see if your manuscript is good enough to meet the strict demands of a publisher or two? The question which comes to mind is: Are agents or editors who charge fees to see your manuscript better than ones who don't charge?

The answer is "No". Editors and agents who charge fees see an opportunity to make money off thousands of hopeful (and gullible) writers. The most common complaint of legitimate editors and agents is that the writer who has submitted work, does not know his craft well enough and this automatically rules out the writer being published.

Knowing your craft means knowing not only what a plot is but also knowing how to write one; knowing how to draw up realistic characters who the reader will be sympathetic to and knowing how to use effective dialogue (among other skills). In case you are wondering, being published is ninety-nine percent hard work and sweat and one percent talent. So odds are that if you are willing to learn your craft and practice every day over a period of time, you will be published. Until you have a good grasp of the craft of writing, it doesn't make sense to send your work to an editor or agent who will read your work, then reject it.

Editors charge reading fees to offset the cost of doing business. They charge fees so they don't have to search for advertisers who will pay for the privilege of appearing in their magazines. Agents charge reading fees because if they don't, they won't make any money. A reputable agent will make money by selling manuscripts to publishing houses and receiving compensation from the writer. It's much like selling a house. You list it with a real estate agent and the agent does the legwork to try to sell it. If and when he sells your house, he gets a commission.

But what about entering writing contests? Do the sponsors have the right to charge an entry fee? Yes because the fees usually pay the prizes for the winning entries. Even here I would use caution. If a contest charges fifty dollars for the entry fee, yet the first prize is only ten dollars, then don't waste your time entering such a contest. In order to make it worth your time, effort and money, make certain that the winning entries will receive a substantially larger cash award than it takes to enter. If they offer publication as part of the award, that's even better.

One thing you should consider carefully, is how do you benefit from entering an above board contest? First, you have your story read by others. Often this alone can be an incentive to better your writing and to write more often. And you have the satisfaction of knowing that you've completed a story and have sent it off. If you don't win an award, there is personal satisfaction in knowing you believe your story good enough to compete with other stories. This too can boost your sense of accomplishment.

Here are some rules I use on those rare occasions when I enter a writing contest:

  1. Check out the organization which is sponsoring the contest. Is this the first time they have done so or have they sponsored several contests before?

  2. Is the contest sponsored by a magazine with a circulation of a hundred or more? (If the circulation is smaller than this, don't waste your time or money.)

  3. Make use of Internet sites which post warnings about particular agents and contests, such as WritersNet at http://www.writers.net/agents.html or http://www.inkspot.com/market/agents.html.

  4. Don't enter a contest unless the prize money or chance of being published in a reputable magazine with a circulation of more than a hundred is one of the awards, and is worth more than the entry fee you paid.

  5. If you're determined to enter a contest, make certain that if there is an entry fee, that the first, second and third prizes aren't simply a certificate etched on paper, but rather publication, a prize of a reference book or a cash award.

I'd like to end on a positive note after this somewhat hardline approach to editors/agents and writing contests. I've been burned a few times by unscrupulous editors, as have many other full-time writers. Instead of making the same mistakes we have, why not spare yourself some aggravation and heed my cautions?

If you wish to comment on this column or raise a concern for a future column, please email me at suzi@wvu.org.

Happy Writing!


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Fiction Corner

Alison Hawke

Do I have your attention?

In the first chapter of "This Alien Shore" by C S Friedman, Jamisia Shido narrowly escapes being killed when the space station she lives on is attacked by "corporate raiders.". In Stephen Baxter’s "Moonseed," Venus has exploded, and Earth is in danger by page twenty one.

I read both of those books over the Christmas holiday, they held my attention right to the last page. When I’m thinking about buying a book, I read the first few paragraphs to see if it’s worth reading. Novels have perhaps a few pages to get your attention and make you want to read more. Short stories and non-fiction articles have only a few sentences. William Zinsser, in his book "On Writing Well" says "The most important sentence in any article is the first one."

Jesse Lee Kercheval, in her book "Building Fiction" defines three types of story opening. Into the pot, already boiling throws the reader into the action. "Moonseed" and "This Alien Shore" both use this opening. Calm before the story is a deceptively calm start which contrasts the tension of the story. Opening statements to the jury is a thematic statement which author or character shows the reason for the conflict to come, or what the character is fighting for.

One example of calm before the story start is in Judy Blume’s "Summer Sisters."

The city is broiling in an early summer heatwave and for the third day in a row Victoria buys a salad from the Korean market around the corner and has lunch at her desk.

Another is in "The Witch of Exmoor" by Margaret Drabble.

Begin on a midsummer evening. Let them have everything that is pleasant. The windows are open onto the terrace and the lawn, and drooping bunches of wistaria deepen from a washed mauve pink to purple. The roses are in bloom.

Opening statements to the jury beginnings were harder to find. "The Third Man" by Graham Greene has one.

One never knows when the blow may fall. When I saw Rollo Martins first I made this note on him in my security police files: "In normal circumstances a cheerful fool. Drinks too much and may cause a little trouble."

Then there is Jane Austen’s famous beginning to "Pride and Prejudice."

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

I like the into the pot, already boiling and calm before the story because the action is never far from the start. Which goes best with the story you’re writing?

Drabble of the Month

Thank you to all who sent in drabbles on the theme of pyramids. Priscilla Fagan ("Inclinations" column) did the judging and decided on these drabbles from Deb Wellmes and Laurel Merriweather.

Pyramid of the Sun
by Deb Wellmes

The giant scarabs strolled through the dense jungle. They clicked their messages to each other in the easy cadence of family.
"My boy, this is the last place we will visit today but it is certainly the most mysterious." Grandpa intoned.
"I don't see anything special Grandpa." The young scarab clicked indignantly.
"There, up yonder, that large mound shaped like an anthill. It has been here in the jungle since the time when humans thought they ruled Mother Earth. They called it the Pyramid of the Sun."
"What was its purpose?"
"That, my boy was part of the human enigma."

The Elusive Pyramid
by Laurel Merriweather

The heat was sweltering as she trudged along, pink desert dust thick on her hiking boots. She lifted a sweat-soaked hat from her forehead to wipe caked dirt away with a worn handkerchief. Her back ached, her head was pounding and every muscle screamed in protest with each step, but she shifted her backpack and kept going.
Only a few more yards. The moment she had waited her whole life for was finally going to happen.
Then she stopped, looking up at the towering pyramid in front of her. "Luxor," oversized letters proclaimed. She had made it to Las Vegas!

The theme for March is complications (due February 10th), courtesy of Peter Keane, the theme for April is ignorance (due March 10th), and the theme for May is the game, another theme from Peter Keane (due April 10th). If you have any ideas for drabble themes, please email me.

PLEASE read the drabble submission guidelines before sending your entry. Only one entry per person per month.

Email your drabbles to Alison at drabble@technologist.com.


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The Fine Line The Writers' Ezine - T-Zero Xpandizine

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The Fine Line

Sherry French

Time! Time! Time!

The world of the writer is unique. The challenges and obstacles we face are often not the same as those of others in more traditional occupations. We walk a fine line between our real and imaginary (written) worlds, often feeling like we are performing a juggling act on a tightrope.

T-zero's FineLine column offers discussion and advice regarding the difficulties and struggles you face during the process of writing your lines.

Dear Fine Line,

I am trying to develop a career in freelance writing, which I love. It is starting to actually make an income, but at the moment it is far from enough to allow me to give up the steady income of my part time job (which I don't love). In the meantime, my husband works steady night shift. After packing our three children off to school every morning, I then leave for work before my husband even gets home from his job. I arrive back at the house just before the school bus and am involved in organizing their homework and after school activities for a couple of hours before starting dinner. My husband then gets up and we manage to have dinner and a couple of hours as a family before the kids go to bed. My husband and I then have another couple of hours, if we're lucky, before he leaves for work. By the time he leaves, I'm too exhausted to work on my writing. Now that I am getting a few writing assignments, I have deadlines and I find that I have to work on them after the children go to bed. My husband resents this as it cuts into the little bit of time we have alone with each other. He says our crazy schedules are making him feel unconnected to the family. Everything feels so hectic during the after dinner time, with kids squabbling and fitting in bath time and everything, and then I go on the computer. Weekends are spent preparing for the next week; cleaning, grocery shopping and laundry are all saved up and need to be done. All life feels like right now is work to him and I must admit, to me too. There just aren't enough hours in the day. Sometimes I think I should just give up on the writing dream although life would be pretty dreary without it. I know I have to do something. If not, something is going to fall apart and I don't want it to be my marriage.

Sincerely,

Don't Know What to Do in Ontario

Dear Don't Know What to Do,

Your life certainly does sound busy, but take heart in knowing that you are not alone. Raising children places large demands on your time. Added to that, the jobs that are necessary in order to financially provide for them, demand even more of it. It is easy to find yourself so busy with day to day life that some of the important things start to get neglected.

The first thing to do in this situation is analyze how your time is currently spent. Make a list of everything that needs to be done. No matter how insignificant the chore might be, add it to the list. It doesn't take too many five-minute activities to add up to an hour. You have already started this within the letter you have written, but it will be helpful if you get more detailed. This could be a project you can work on with your husband and you can make it fun. If you don't want to spend your limited together time working on it, a list could be posted on the fridge and you could make it a game with the object being to think up the most points to add. The problem has been identified, which is half the battle. Working together on a solution can be the first step towards feeling connected again. Once you have your list, you can start to attack it. Set your priorities together. Analyze the whole picture before making decisions on which changes to make. A few things to keep in mind:

  • Make sure that you both understand what your shared and individual goals are. Make sure that the many activities that you're both involved with do, in fact, move you in the direction of reaching your goals.

  • Look for ways you can make better use of your time. In the article, How Much is Too Much? Un-Overwhelm Yourself, freelance writer and editor Shellie Hurrle suggests that we need to learn how to say "No" sometimes and take care of ourselves. Click here to read the complete article.

  • Get outside help. Perhaps a teenager in the area can help out with the after school time a couple of times a week. Trading off scheduled after school play times with other parents can also free up some valuable time.

  • Think about changing the schedule. Possibly shifting some of the weekend activities to weekdays or nights will free up chunks of time you can put to better use.

  • Consider changing who does what in your family. Perhaps there are some chores that can be delegated to the children. Possibly there are things that you or your husband currently do that, by switching with each other, would free up more time.

  • Many families are now incorporating "family nights" into their weekly schedule. One night each week is devoted to doing fun activities together. One family I know takes turns choosing what the family activity will be each week. These can be customized to fit your family's needs and budget. Board games, movie nights, dinner out, shopping trips and many other things can be incorporated into family night. These special nights benefit all members of the family. Often, the fun shared and positive attitudes developed carry on throughout the week, making family interactions less stressful for parents.

  • Go out on dates. Many couples need to relearn how to date after having children. Friends of mine starting dating each other again when their oldest child was nine and they credit this with saving their marriage. The first Saturday of every month is their "date night" and they take turns each month planning a special date for one another. It was once suggested to me (by a childless friend) that married couples should go out on dates at least once a week. This often isn't feasible but, doing it monthly as my friends do, provides some quality adult time to look forward to.

  • Do little things that show one another that you're thinking of them when they aren't there. Leave little notes and other surprises from both yourself and the children for your husband to find when he arrives home to an empty house.

  • If it is difficult to find the necessary time for writing assignments, freelance writer, Lisa Beamer, suggests to,
    break big tasks down into smaller, more manageable pieces, as they are less overwhelming that way. If you have a feature article to write, break it down into research, interviews, outline, first draft, etc.
    To read the complete article, that gives seven additional time management tips specifically for writers, click here.

Whatever you do, work and make decisions together. Don't give up on your dreams but, if the decision needs to be made to put some dreams on hold while others are reached for, make these decisions together after carefully weighing all the options.

Good luck to you as you look for ways to balance your time on the fine line.

Do you have any comments or suggestions about this letter? Do you have a problem with some area of your writing life? FineLine would love to hear from you! Please direct your letters to FineLine@wvu.org putting the words "Fine Line" in the subject line.


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Healthy Horizons

Laurie Lupold

Millennium Meltdown

What did I expect with the coming of the millennium? Some higher revelation? Some sort of psyche for the upcoming year? But, it came with no grand revolution. Still, I welcomed it and all my resolutions for the year. Yes, resolutions, the promises we make to ourselves of goals we plan to achieve. Quite honestly we have to wonder, do we set our goals too high? How many do we actually achieve?

My thought is that we need to set our course more realistically with smaller goals to set the path of accomplishment toward the ultimate. This would help us build confidence. Our esteem would be at a high instead of the dreaded low we feel by not accomplishing what we set out to do.

I hear it often said by writers that they have difficulty finding time to write. I am one of these people. Perhaps a goal for me would be setting forth a schedule, including in that schedule a time, each day when I can write. Even if it is simply one hour a day the idea is to have that specific time for writing.

Often, I lose ideas because I am not prepared. When I am out, whether it be shopping or at an appointment, an idea comes to mind but I have nowhere to write it. More than likely by the time I get home the idea is gone. This is why, as writers, we should get into the habit of carrying a journal of ideas everywhere we go. A small pad would suffice for us to jot down whatever comes to mind so the idea is not lost.

Don't pressure yourself. Everything you write does not have to be a masterpiece. Don't let the inner critic edit everything you compose. Let your ideas flow. There is plenty of time for the internal editor to surface later. Relax and be free with your thoughts.

My final thought is that you must enjoy what you do. I take this one personally because, in the past, I have found that I was trying so hard to be the educated writer I thought I should be, to live up to some expectation that I had of myself, that it stopped being fun. When you stop enjoying what you do, it becomes obvious to your audience. Artists perform because they enjoy giving that part of themselves that makes them unique artists. They put their hearts into it. When they stop enjoying it it becomes "Cleopatra without her smile," the meaning is missing. Write what you love and love what you write but, most importantly, have fun doing it.

Until next time, keep your creative heart flowing as you head toward those Healthy Horizons!


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Inclinations

Priscilla Fagan

Inclinations this month concentrates on the subject of procrastination. No, not writers' block, for I have many things to say. I'm just putting everything off for some reason. My gray cells won't cooperate. I'd rather stare off into space and think about why I don't want to start anything until the gray matter focuses and I'm back on target. I go to my computer and begin to write and suddenly wham, I'm staring out the window again. I tell myself I can do this later, let me think about it, I'm tired. I become depressed.

I turn to my Thesaurus of Quotations and find: Procrastination is the thief of time, written by Edward Young in 1742. Isn't this the truth, I think as I meander about the house wondering what it is I want to do? I know what I want to do for crying out loud. I want to sit at my computer and write. Okay, so why don't I? Because I'm procrastinating. I can hear John Steinbeck's words again echoing in my mind: Three hours of writing require twenty hours of preparation. Luckily I have learned to dream about the work, which saves me some working time. I wonder if he was a procrastinator? For this is exactly what I'm doing, reflecting about the work.

Did you happen to receive the MILLENNIUM e-mail that went around? You know the one where you type Millennium in capital letters and then change the font to Wingdings.
MILLENNIUM = MILLENNIUM.   Interesting, eh? Enough to make anyone stop procrastinating and get busy. Defer not till to-morrow to be wise, / To-morrow's sun to thee may never rise, William Congreve wrote in the 18th century. Such an astute saying. So with these sage words of advice, why am I still in delay mode?

Andy Rooney made an observation that sounds reasonable: It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work. In there lies the crux of the problem. However I am ready, I'm stalling. American novelist Charles Portis writes: You put things off and then one morning you wake up and say today I will change the oil in my truck. Well one small step for mankind I say. Perhaps if I say today I will write my column, then the next step should be to catch up on my course I'm taking and that should lead to working on my novel. Right? Cervantes said: Delay always breeds danger and to protract a great design is often to ruin it. (1605) However, Thomas Jefferson once wrote to George Washington: Delay is preferable to error. Perhaps it's the mood I'm in but I'm holding onto these words as if my life depended on it, after all I'm only putting off today what I can do tomorrow. ;-) Oh I'm so confused.

The great Will Rogers observed: Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Some say it takes one highly intelligent remark to help you get your act in gear and this did it for me. My column is near completion and I've caught up in my class. Far be it for me to become a sitting duck.

I'll leave you with this little gem from James Thurber: It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all. I wonder if in my loafing I haven't actually gained some insight and in that accomplished some undetermined objective? Oh well, I have a novel to rewrite.

Til next month I remain,
Priscilla --the eternal optimist


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In the Writing Jungle

Suzi Goode

Writing in the Jungle of Genre

Writing and publishing go hand in hand. You cannot write effectively nor market your completed manuscript without firmly placing it in a specific genre.

Why is it important to know the genre for your story or novel when you are in the process of writing? If you know that particular genre, you are more likely to avoid what has been overdone before. This doesn't mean that you have to follow the formula slavishly but rather that you should come up with a fresh, original idea. Friendly aliens, such as ET are out when it comes to writing science fiction. If you're writing horror, you must know to avoid the clichés, such as vampires with Aids and picking up a stranger for the sole purpose of having sex and then killing said stranger.

It's essential to know what is happening in your genre. Read as much as you can and examine what other authors are doing. Familiarize yourself with what is being published now and what has been published in the past. Don't simply read the good novels but a few of the poorly-written ones too. Look for what makes a novel good or bad in your opinion. Was it the realistic characters which helped the novel succeed? Or the unusual setting? Or was the plot original and filled with suspense? If nothing else, get a firm grounding in the classics of the genre you have chosen to write in.

If you don't know your genre well enough, you will more than likely be placing yourself in the unhappy position of having your glaring mistakes pointed out to by your readers. This happened recently when a Regency romance hardcover was released. Despite the fact that the author was teaching about the Georgian era (1811-1820 in England), she made several glaring errors in depicting this time period. She not only lost readers for any future novels she may write, but also was publicly embarrassed by these errors. Don't make the fateful, and almost certainly lethal mistake, of assuming your reader is not well versed in your genre. Be accurate in your details, and rather than guessing or bluffing your way through, research the facts you need to know.

Most genres have reader expectations which you should be careful to adhere to. For example, a reader of a romance novel expects a man and woman to fall in love. A mystery reader will read in order to (vicariously) solve a murder along with an amateur sleuth or hard-boiled detective. This is the oft-spoken of 'formula'. It means making an implicit promise to the reader, and keeping it. If you write a romance, you make the promise that the hero and heroine will fall in love, encounter several obstacles which almost spell disaster to that love, and finally they make a commitment to each other. To write anything else, is to break this implicit promise and lose your reader.

Making an implicit promise also means enjoying the genre you are writing in. Don't waste your time writing westerns when you don't care to read them. This indifference will convey itself to the reader and he will quickly turn to another novel.

On the other hand, just because romance novels comprise forty-nine per cent of the market today, doesn't mean that you must write a romance or lace your current work-in-progress with heavy doses of love. Don't subvert your writing style for something marketable. Instead, stay within the genre you feel you are comfortable in and think up something different to do with it. Finding a genre which appeals to you and thinking up something which hasn't been done before, is a challenge but well worth it in terms of being happy and creative in your writing. It will be an added bonus when it comes to marketing your work. If you write passionately, chances are that you will find an editor who loves your work and will publish it.

So you are one of the lucky few who feel you are competent in a variety of genres. How do the preceding comments affect you? First, you must realize that readers rarely jump from one genre to another. A romance reader will usually only read romances while a reader of horror will only read horror. If you write both romance and horror, don't expect your readers to cross genres just to read what you have written. Establish yourself in one genre and you will gain a loyal following.

There are a few authors who have transcended the lines between one genre and another but they are few. Their success lies in writing outstandingly as they channel and shape their reader's expectations. Nora Roberts is an author of romance but she also writes romantic suspense under the name J.D. Robb. She is creating a loyal following with her romance novels and her romantic suspense, usually labeled in the library's mystery section.

In conclusion, experiment to find the genre you prefer to write in. Read widely in different genres, attempt to write (or at least outline) a story in that genre. You will have lost nothing in the attempt but instead will have enriched your writing and learned something new to improve your writing.

Next month, join me as I take a look at how genre affects the marketing of your manuscript.

Happy Writiing!


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Nouveau

Jennifer Shikes Haines stays at home with her active six-year-old, as well as works on a variety of education and writing projects. She is working on a collection of fictionalized short stories about her life in Russia at the end of the Cold War. This is an abbreviated version of one of those stories.

Lermontov

By Jennifer Shikes Haines

I looked around at the cramped office filled with books, and at the small, striking, dark-featured woman sitting behind the solid oak desk. "But I want to have all the possible teaching experiences here," I said. "If the other teachers must spend their vacation breaks on field trips with the children, then so must I." I tried to smile submissively, a trait all Soviet women seemed to have genetically imprinted. As an American, I failed miserably and my expression took on more of a sneer. Definitely NOT what I had intended.

Dahah Alievna sighed and placed her hands on her desk, playing with the ruby ring that she always wore on the third finger of her left hand. "You know, Marian, that it is never simple here. We need to think how to do this. I wonder if you realize how much extra work you make for me all the time?"

Dahah Alievna smiled at me affectionately. This was a legitimate complaint, but I had won her over with my hard work during the three months I had been teaching in School #23.

"Yes, Dahah Alievna, and I am very grateful for all you have done for me," I smiled back at her.

"Oh, dear, you make me sound like we haven’t treated you well as hosts!" Dahah Alievna twisted the ring more rapidly and the affectionate smile turned into a fretting frown.

I reflected on the cultural differences I encountered on a daily basis. While navigating the average public school system was never a piece of cake in the U.S., nothing had prepared me for the Kafkaesque layers of bureaucracy that I encountered in Krasnodar, Russia. The more I was taken in by these warm and strange people, the more I would feel the ultimate outsider at the same time.

I quickly tried to smooth the ruffled feelings. "You have been wonderful hosts… the very best! And I probably ask too much by wanting to join the children and Rimma Ivanovna to Pyatigorsk. I would just really like to find out what taking a trip with these children would be like!" I tried to smile engagingly again. Dahah Alievna took the bait.

"Very well, I will see who you need to talk to," she began to look through papers on her desk. "Now go, please! Once again, I am behind on all this…." Here she shuffled through stacks of documents to sign and notarize, "important… work!"

***

Several days later, I found myself in a similar office. Bigger office, larger solid oak desk, slovenly red-haired Russian behind it rather than attractive, manicured Azerbaijani. I looked at Tatiana Grigorievna apprehensively.

Her jowls shook as she swung her head back and forth. "This has never been done before, you know, Miss Marian," she managed to sigh as she spoke this.

"Yes, Tatiana Grigorievna, I am aware of this, but none of this has been done before. I DID manage to visit Orlonek, and that was out of the Rayion (Region- province)."

"This is true… but look how much paper work THAT took," she smiled at me triumphantly as if that settled everything.

"I understand that this makes more work for you, but let’s look at it from the students’ end. They desperately want me to go."

Tatiana Grigorievna stared at a piece of paper in front of her, gazed out into space, and looked down. "No, no, it is impossible… I just realized. It is too dangerous for you. We can’t have you traveling by tour bus in the Caucasus. Something might happen – a car crash or something. I think we have settled this topic."

***

"What do you MEAN, too dangerous? For you?! But not for our Soviet children?! Whatever is she thinking of!" Alla bristled over her cup of tea. I was sitting in the neat, dark living room of my friend Rimma’s apartment. Rimma, Alla and I were relaxing a bit over supper in the late afternoon. Alla’s daughter, Katya, one of my students, was off at a Komsomol, (Soviet Youth) meeting, and we often took this weekly opportunity to eat and talk together.

"This is really disgraceful," Rimma sneered. "The busses are too dangerous for an American adult, but just fine for our precious children? Alla, dear, what do you think we can do about this?" Rimma smiled into her teacup, and I knew we were in for trouble. I had seen that smile before.

***

Back in Tatiana Grigorievna’s office, which now felt incredibly cramped, I sat between two very angry fathers of children in class 10C from School 23. Sergei Stepanov punctuated almost every word with a jabbing finger at Tatiana Grigorievna. "What is wrong with these busses?" he raged. "I want a list of ANY mechanical problems! There are just the two of us in your office right now, Comrade, but we shall be here in full force and shall take this to the Minister of Education himself if need be. Now… explain!"

Alexander Ruslanov, sitting on my other side, expressed his agreement from behind his crossed legs and arms. He was a fortress of seething fury.

Tatiana Grigorievna drew herself up and seemed to regain her composure. "You are both administrators as I am and you don’t see the problem here? The busses aren’t dangerous! The roads aren’t dangerous! They are dangerous for HER, because it would be a scandal if ANYTHING went wrong! We don’t have the policies to cover it, we don’t have the visa exceptions to cover it, there is no insurance or other protection for this. Can you understand? Must I explain this further?"

Alexander Ruslanov crossed his legs and took a long time studying his shoes. Sergei Stepanov, who up til this time had been the spokesman for them both, looked to his companion for guidance. "You have a point," Alexander Ruslanov mumbled. "Yes, we understand."

***

Back in my classroom, I paced. Three of my favorite students were with me: Irina, Seryozha and Lena. "So, I guess I will not be going with you after all," I sighed.

"It isn’t fair… and I particularly wanted to show you Lermontov’s grave!" Seryozha was pouting, one of his better skills.

"Lermontov?" I looked up with a gleam in my eye. "Did you say that Lermontov is buried in Pyatigorsk?"

"Well, right nearby, actually, but yes. Why?" Seryozha looked at me with puzzlement.

My mind was extremely busy. First off, to be clear about this, I hated Lermontov’s poetry with every fiber of my being. On the other hand…. Russians couldn’t resist a love of literature. "I’ve got it!! I’ve got her now!" I jumped up from the edge of my desk, hugged Seryozha, and raced out of the room and towards Dahah Alievna’s office.

***

"And so, Tatiana Grigorievna, now that I know that the grave of my favorite, my very favorite poet, Lermontov was to be on the itinerary of this trip… I just cannot miss this trip! I must lay flowers on his grave! Can’t you understand that? This may be my only visit to your beautiful country and I…" here I tried to look as if I might cry, and drew my very best acting skills to the situation, "I might know that his grave was a mere five hours away and I, I had failed to pay my respects to him?" I sighed tragically, and looked down at my lap, twisting a handkerchief that Rimma had lent me for the occasion. "I just couldn’t face myself if I failed to honor this great man."

Tatiana Grigorievna was staring openly at me, and then looked over to Rimma, who had on a most tragic expression herself. Rimma was very good at "tragic." "Tatiana Grigorievna, I understand the hardship that Marian’s joining us would cause you and the Ministry, but can we truly deny her this dream to honor one of our greatest writers? Think of what she will say in the U. S. if she is denied," Rimma paused dramatically. "I shudder to think."

"Well," Tatiana Grigorievna sighed, "I suppose," here was another deep sigh. "Alright, we can give it a try. Now both of you, go! I have work to do here. Ellina will give you the beginning documents to fill out on your way out."

"Oh, THANK you, Tatiana Grigorievna!" I smiled at her warmly. Her response was to wave me away and snarl a bit. I left quickly before she changed her mind.

***

The next couple weeks were a blur of filed documents, notarizations, examinations, etc. Finally the golden paper arrived, a permission letter from the Ministry to visit the Pyatigorsk Rayion, accompanied by a 4-day visa. I sat at on the bus, listening to the happy noises of the teens surrounding me and looked out at the gorgeous mountain passes. I was on my way to honor a dead poet.


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Poetics

Tom Spencer

Let me introduce myself. I am Tom Spencer. I am a self-taught poet. I have read poetry all of my life, and wrote poetry before I even read it.

I am a poet and I take poetic license to be as young as I care to be and as old as I need to be. I am known among my writing friends as a "form poet".I have forced myself to write every type of poem and form of poetry that I have encountered There is nothing I enjoy more than encountering a new form of poetry. I love to dissect it and see what makes it work.

I have been asked to write some of my thoughts in a column for the Writers' Village University, T-Zero Xpandizine.I would be pleased if you would let me know your thoughts on what I have written. Good or bad, I want to hear them; for that is the only way I learn.

I have chosen for my first column the Rhythms of poetry, as I understand them.

Have you listened to a baby cry?
Listened to the traffic passing by?
The clickity clack of the train rolling through the night?

These are rhythms and everything has a rhythm. Your breathing is a rhythm. Without the rhythm there is something wrong. The same is true with poetry. Every poem has a rhythm. The English Sonnet has the rhythm of rhyme combined with syllable count. The Haiku has the rhythm of syllable count alone. The Haiku is used to introduce a thought, usually profound with a double interpretation. The English Sonnet usually tells of a short scene in life or an emotion, quite often having to do with love and romance, but not restricted to love alone.

To me, most everything in life has a poetic motion, a rhythm. I look for that rhythm, as I believe every poet should look for the rhythms. If you as a poet are able to capture a rhythm in your poem and relay it to your reader, the reader will perceive your words as poetry.

It will be poetry to them even if they do not understand the language or the words. The rhythm is the foundation of the poem.

There are many different ways to create rhythms in poetry. I have mentioned the Haiku and the English Sonnet, both very popular forms of poetry. They both use syllable count. The most popular poetry of today, Free Verse, has to be written with a rhythm. Sometimes it is written in a polyrhythmic, like Dave Brubeck's "Take Five" but if those rhythms aren't there, the readers are going to stumble in their reading. Stumbling will distract from the comprehension of the thoughts being conveyed by the poet. Thus the lack of rhythm causes the poem to lose effectiveness.

Other ways to create rhythms are by the use of hard syllables and soft syllables, repeating of lines, repeating words and even the visual structure of the work as it is printed or written on the paper. I will get further into the rhythms of other forms of poetry in future articles. You can look up forms of poetry such as the Sestina, Tercet, Tanka, Villanelle, Triolet the list goes on. Study the ways they are written and you will soon be trying to create your own form. I can assure you there will be rhythm in it when you finally feel it is right.

Beyond the sunset
Someone sees the sun rising
It will set for them

Tom Spencer


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Sparks

Karen Grunberg

Story Time

On the last day of the old year and the first days of the new one, we have been experiencing exceptionally warm weather in New York. The same is true of Japan, so I thought it might be a good idea to take one last trip to the park, before the rainy days start taking over.

If you don't live near a park, this exercise can be done anywhere. Any location that is full of people is ideal. If you get cold easily, you can go to a mall and sit at the food court, hang out at a diner, or even a coffee shop. Just try to find a location where people sit for an extended period of time.

Let's assume you thought of a spot. Now, pack up your pad and pencil, we're taking a field trip. Once you get to the location of your preference, sit down and take out your pad. Look around for a while. You're searching for the hero or villain of your next story, so look carefully.

Once someone catches your eye, start making notes on that person. Start out with the easy, physical details. Let's say I picked a middle-aged woman. Here are some starter-questions:

  • What color is her hair?
  • How tall does she appear?
  • Can you see the eye color?
  • Does she have long, slender features or short, chubby ones?
  • What is she wearing?
  • What is the color of her skin?
  • Does she wear glasses?
  • Is she wearing a watch?
  • Can you see her teeth? (Okay, probably not!)
  • Is she wearing nail polish?
  • Does she have short or long hair?
  • How old does she appear?

You get the idea. Get the basics down on paper. Make up the details you can't see. Can't see her teeth? Give her crooked ones, or perfect ones, or give her braces. You can't see the eye color? Give her blue eyes, or give her one green eye and one blue one. (I actually know someone that has one blue eye and one green one!)

Now that you have the obvious, let's move on to the less visible. Look at your chosen one more carefully. Are there things you didn't notice the first time around?
Here are some more probing questions:

  • Is she wearing any jewelry?
  • Does she have beauty marks?
  • Any tics?
  • Does she look nervous?
  • Are there pouches under her eyes?
  • Can you see lines on her face?
  • Any gray hair?
  • Does she have make-up on? If so, does it look fresh?

The questions are meant to make you look more closely. Now let your imagination flow, or make it go crazy! Pick one distinctive feature and start speculating.

I'll pick the jewelry. My lady is wearing a ring. It's wide and has three small, square, blue stones. Now I get to spend the next ten minutes writing about the ring. I start with questions.

  • When did she get that ring?
  • Who gave it to her?
  • Is it new or is it an antique?
  • Does she wear it all the time?
  • Even when she goes to sleep or in the shower?
  • Is it a wedding ring?
  • Do the blue stones mean anything?
  • Is it valuable or does it have sentimental value?

Once I've written enough questions for an idea to form in my mind, I let my creative side do the answering. Here's the story of my lady's ring.

The ring is an antique. Passed from generation to generation and at least 100 years old. It belonged to her husband's mother. Actually, Greg's grandmother, and she passed it down to his mother. Greg's mother died when he was seven. She had cancer, and before she died, she gave Greg this ring, reminding him that it was a family heirloom and he should give it to the woman he will marry. She told him that for as long as he had this ring, he'd know she was watching over him. Greg gave the ring to Janet (the woman I'm looking at) when he proposed to her. He had to go to war before they got married, but he gave her the ring and told her to wait for him and that he'd be back to marry her. Janet waited patiently, and when Greg came back, they got married. Greg told her the story of the ring and asked her to never take it off. She kept her promise and never takes it off, not even when she showers. Today she's playing with the ring nervously because she has to give Greg some bad news. Janet is in love with someone else and is going to have this man's baby. In about five minutes, Greg's going to walk in and Janet has to tell him the truth.

Well, not the most unique story, but I wrote the first things that came to my mind. And for the next two hours, you will pick different things about your person of choice and write short paragraphs about him or her. You can choose to write the story of a watch or the cause of a gray hair. Anything is fair game.

By the end of the two hours, you should have enough information about this lady to make up the beginnings of a backstory. Now, you can pack your stuff up and go back home.

Once you reach home, sit down by your computer or at your desk, and type all you can about this woman. Make up a backstory. Make up her fears; list things that make her sad. Carve her a family; give her imperfections. Let her tell her tale.

If you gave this exercise a fair shot, not only will you have an interesting character, but you'll have the beginning of a story, dying to emerge.

As always, it's only worth doing if it's fun, fun, fun!

Karenika

P.S.: If you have any sparkling ideas, please email them to me at karenika@wvu.org so we can share your ideas with our other members.


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STARS

STARS is our way of showing off the talent displayed on the boards of our free fiction course. Each month we choose one lesson and search for the best posted assignment in each study group or classroom that follows the requirements of the lesson exactly. No easy task, I can assure you! Talent abounds and there is just sooo much to choose from. Students are asked for permission to submit their selected assignment to the editors of T-zero, receive feedback on their submissions from the editors and have a chance at seeing their assignment published on the pages of T-zero. While we certainly wish we could show them all to you, we think you'll enjoy the one assignment that really caught our fancy in the November session of Fiction 99. I think you'll agree, this STAR really shines!

Lesson of the Month: The Grand Finale! - Plot & Theme

Requirements: Write a complete story using an outlined plot structure that contains an opening conflict, at least two complications, a crisis and a resolution. Word count must fall between 500 and 1,500 words and follow an intended theme....Quite a challenge!

This Month's Selected Assignment:
TITLE: SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED

Posted by Dennis Phillips (aka Bruno)
DennisPhillips@compuserve.com

THEME: some men are reluctant to ask for directions, sometimes with embarrassing consequences.

WORD COUNT: 981 words

My best friend, Jackie McDermott, believes you'll never get anywhere if you're always stopping to ask directions. Take the other day when I walked into their kitchen and asked Phyllis where Jackie was.

"Jack's in the basement. Typical man - thinks he knows everything and won't read the instructions."

"Instructions? What's he doing?"

"He wants to assemble some computer before Jasper comes home from school, but he won't ask for help. See what you can do."

Thumping down into the basement, I found Jackie sitting on a rug cross-legged like a yogi. His salmon-coloured hair shone under the light fixture he had meant to screw back into the ceiling.

The room was warm from the red glow of an electric heater and a smoky fire was burning in the fireplace. The back end of a computer, pockmarked with unidentifiable slots and connectors, lay to his right. A monitor sat expressionless on his left. His shoulders were hunched over something in his lap, and when he stroked his head, I could see where the hair was thinning.

"Can I help you, Jackie boy? Phyllis says you're building a computer."

"Ah Jeez! You scared me Denny. I didn't hear you coming. Make a noise next time. No, not building it, Denny, just assembling one."

"You got all the parts? I'm talking about the computer, Jackie, not you." My wit is so fast it sometimes escapes others and I have to explain. "You get it? Got all the parts?"

"What the hell you talking about? Do something useful and get me a beer."

I walked over to the second fridge they kept in the basement. It used to be their first fridge, but Jackie fixed it and Phyllis wouldn't keep it in the kitchen after that.

I had a Molson Export. Jackie always keeps some Ex on ice just for me. Labatt's Blue was his favourite beer.

"You want a Blue?"

"What? Gimme a Blue will you, and bring me that screwdriver on top of the fridge."

I examined the top of the fridge. In addition to the screwdrivers, there were two candlesticks made from old tequila bottles, and a frozen-dinner tray filled with little glass acorns that turned out to be a mixture of screw-in fuses.

"Which one, the Robertson or the slot head?"

"Doesn't matter. I need to punch some holes in this stupid panel so I can get the wires through."

"I don't think you should be doing that, Jackie boy. Looks like a lot of those pointy solder things in that panel. Where's the assembly instructions?"

"Don't need 'em. Used them to start the fire. No darned good for that either. Little plasticky bits started melting." I glanced at the fireplace and saw where thin black smoke was coming from small globules that flowed like tiny rivulets of lava past the hearth and dropped smoldering unto the rug.

I brought him both screwdrivers. I knew whichever one I brought he'd need the other. This way I saved a trip.

"And get me the hammer."

Jackie worked away in silence for a few minutes. I sipped my beer and watched the patterns the lava was making in the rug. Jackie counted the pins in the plug heads and tried to match them to the holes in the computer slots. Even when he got the number of pins to match the number of holes, the plugs still wouldn't fit in the slots. Jackie tried using more force, but it wasn't until he noticed one side of the plug was slightly wider than the other and one side of the slot was slightly wider than the other, that the penny dropped and he was able to fit plugs into slots. He took out the tiny machine screws supplied with the computer and substituted more sturdy 3-inch bolts. I knew he was finished when he sighed the same sigh of satisfaction that master violin makers must have sighed when their masterpieces were ready for their first concert. Jackie made that same sigh of the master craftsman as he snapped the third prong off the power cord.

"OK Denny. I think we're ready. Plug in the extension cord."

I found the end of the extension cord under some packing material. Taking a sip of my beer, I surveyed the octopus plug that distributed the power from the sole electrical outlet in the basement. Dangling wires occupied all the available spots.

"Should I unplug the television or the electric heater?"

"Use your head, Denny. You think I want to watch television in the cold? Use that power bar on the floor and we can plug in five more things."

It was the work of less than a minute to plug in the power bar, plug in the extension cord, turn on the computer, turn on the monitor, pop the fuse and plunge the room into darkness.

With the foresight of one accustomed to these emergencies, Jackie clicked on the flashlight.

"Slip a bigger fuse into the box, will you?"

"No sweat. Swing the flashlight to the top of the fridge." I took a draw on my beer, and stumbling on some packing material, slid over to the fridge and selected the 30-amp fuse. "This should do the job. Swing the light over to the box."

I slipped on some rebars we'd been using to fix the TV and kind of rolled over to the fuse box.

Before screwing in the fuse, I wetted the metal end in my mouth so there'd be good contact.

"OK, fire her up."

Maybe if I'd used a different verb, things would have gone differently.

***

"I hope you're happy."

Phyllis didn't sound like she hoped any such thing. The firemen had long gone and Jackie and I had just finished mopping out the basement.

"Guess we'll have to re-wire the place, Denny. Should be easy now the wall studs are exposed."


T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine
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Writer's Ramble

Edie Marshall

DEPRESSION: It's a Good Thing!
(thank you Martha Stewart)

Two months go by and I can't even write a decent grocery list, let alone a story I would admit to taking part in creating. Force-written rehashed ideas read as you would expect them to, and sometimes worse. I'm thanking the good Lord for my day job, because I'd be starving and on the street if I was depending on my writing skills at this moment.

Then BAM, it hits like Zsa Zsa Gabor getting pulled over for a speeding violation. I realize why I haven't been able to write. I'M TOO CONTENT! I mean, I've got a job I like, friends who care, a roof over my head, food on the table. I'm enjoying the real world, and there's a part of me that subconsciously knows what will happen the second I start unchaining the demons that burn fire across my keyboard: I'm going to get depressed.

If there's anything I've learned after twenty-six years of being an artist, you can't fight depression. And trying to fight it will only depress you. It's the circle of creation. You dwell in misery, you write about it, you feel better, you can't write, you get depressed, and voila, you're back to writing again. Okay, sure, there are plenty of writers out there who have trained themselves to write consistently, and okay, maybe what they write is worthy of more than just lining cat litter boxes.

But, let me ask you, if you're one of these hard working writers – when do you truly feel what you're writing? You can't tell me you feel impassioned by the pounding of the keys as you churn out another well-researched article about the mating rituals of sperm whales, or expect me to believe you bubble over with anticipatory glee from the prospect of reporting the latest CNN poll results for the question,

Do you feel we have opinion polls so you can pretend your opinion matters to us, and you're not just an overweight slob drinking beer at three in the afternoon watching television instead of writing because you're 'conducting research'?

So, is that the secret to good writing? To depress myself into genius? Well, it's an idea. Some of the greatest artists in the world have been manic depressives. Of course, a lot of them also killed themselves.

Okay, maybe that's not the best idea I've had. But, the truth is, I don't know how to be a good, consistent writer. I don't even know what good writing is. I just know the way I feel when I write something that makes people "oooh" and "aaah" and believe that I must have some kind of special gene or have experienced an unusual upbringing to create such twisted musings only capable of spewage by someone not of the norm.

My point is this: I'm still learning, just like you are. The only way to learn is to look at yourself honestly and not hide from your flaws. There are many times in my life when I just don't feel like writing anything. Am I not a real writer because I do that? Should I look down on myself? Or, brainwash myself with classes that teach me what a "real" writer does?

So, maybe "crash writing for manic depressives" will never become a popular topic at WVU, and perhaps preaching the creative wonders of self-denouncement is not the most positive method of inspiring fellow artists to greatness.

But, if you've read this far, I must have said something that intrigued you. No matter how meaningful the words you write may be, if they're going unread, then what's the point?


T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine
http://TheWritersEzine.com
Copyright 1998 - 2007, Writopia Inc. All Rights Reserved

 

© Copyright 1998 - 2007, Writopia Inc. All rights reserved