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Fiction Corner

Alison Hawke

Do I have your attention?

In the first chapter of "This Alien Shore" by C S Friedman, Jamisia Shido narrowly escapes being killed when the space station she lives on is attacked by "corporate raiders.". In Stephen Baxter’s "Moonseed," Venus has exploded, and Earth is in danger by page twenty one.

I read both of those books over the Christmas holiday, they held my attention right to the last page. When I’m thinking about buying a book, I read the first few paragraphs to see if it’s worth reading. Novels have perhaps a few pages to get your attention and make you want to read more. Short stories and non-fiction articles have only a few sentences. William Zinsser, in his book "On Writing Well" says "The most important sentence in any article is the first one."

Jesse Lee Kercheval, in her book "Building Fiction" defines three types of story opening. Into the pot, already boiling throws the reader into the action. "Moonseed" and "This Alien Shore" both use this opening. Calm before the story is a deceptively calm start which contrasts the tension of the story. Opening statements to the jury is a thematic statement which author or character shows the reason for the conflict to come, or what the character is fighting for.

One example of calm before the story start is in Judy Blume’s "Summer Sisters."

The city is broiling in an early summer heatwave and for the third day in a row Victoria buys a salad from the Korean market around the corner and has lunch at her desk.

Another is in "The Witch of Exmoor" by Margaret Drabble.

Begin on a midsummer evening. Let them have everything that is pleasant. The windows are open onto the terrace and the lawn, and drooping bunches of wistaria deepen from a washed mauve pink to purple. The roses are in bloom.

Opening statements to the jury beginnings were harder to find. "The Third Man" by Graham Greene has one.

One never knows when the blow may fall. When I saw Rollo Martins first I made this note on him in my security police files: "In normal circumstances a cheerful fool. Drinks too much and may cause a little trouble."

Then there is Jane Austen’s famous beginning to "Pride and Prejudice."

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

I like the into the pot, already boiling and calm before the story because the action is never far from the start. Which goes best with the story you’re writing?

Drabble of the Month

Thank you to all who sent in drabbles on the theme of pyramids. Priscilla Fagan ("Inclinations" column) did the judging and decided on these drabbles from Deb Wellmes and Laurel Merriweather.

Pyramid of the Sun by Deb Wellmes The giant scarabs strolled through the dense jungle. They clicked their messages to each other in the easy cadence of family. "My boy, this is the last place we will visit today but it is certainly the most mysterious." Grandpa intoned. "I don't see anything special Grandpa." The young scarab clicked indignantly. "There, up yonder, that large mound shaped like an anthill. It has been here in the jungle since the time when humans thought they ruled Mother Earth. They called it the Pyramid of the Sun." "What was its purpose?" "That, my boy was part of the human enigma." The Elusive Pyramid by Laurel Merriweather The heat was sweltering as she trudged along, pink desert dust thick on her hiking boots. She lifted a sweat-soaked hat from her forehead to wipe caked dirt away with a worn handkerchief. Her back ached, her head was pounding and every muscle screamed in protest with each step, but she shifted her backpack and kept going. Only a few more yards. The moment she had waited her whole life for was finally going to happen. Then she stopped, looking up at the towering pyramid in front of her. "Luxor," oversized letters proclaimed. She had made it to Las Vegas!

The theme for March is complications (due February 10th), courtesy of Peter Keane, the theme for April is ignorance (due March 10th), and the theme for May is the game, another theme from Peter Keane (due April 10th). If you have any ideas for drabble themes, please email me.

PLEASE read the drabble submission guidelines before sending your entry. Only one entry per person per month.

Email your drabbles to Alison at drabble@technologist.com.