The Writer's E-Zine Home

Writers' Village University - F2K: Free Fiction Writing Course - ePress-online
Writers' Village University Membership Information

Writer's Ramble

Edie Marshall

DEPRESSION: It's a Good Thing!
(thank you Martha Stewart)

Two months go by and I can't even write a decent grocery list, let alone a story I would admit to taking part in creating. Force-written rehashed ideas read as you would expect them to, and sometimes worse. I'm thanking the good Lord for my day job, because I'd be starving and on the street if I was depending on my writing skills at this moment.

Then BAM, it hits like Zsa Zsa Gabor getting pulled over for a speeding violation. I realize why I haven't been able to write. I'M TOO CONTENT! I mean, I've got a job I like, friends who care, a roof over my head, food on the table. I'm enjoying the real world, and there's a part of me that subconsciously knows what will happen the second I start unchaining the demons that burn fire across my keyboard: I'm going to get depressed.

If there's anything I've learned after twenty-six years of being an artist, you can't fight depression. And trying to fight it will only depress you. It's the circle of creation. You dwell in misery, you write about it, you feel better, you can't write, you get depressed, and voila, you're back to writing again. Okay, sure, there are plenty of writers out there who have trained themselves to write consistently, and okay, maybe what they write is worthy of more than just lining cat litter boxes.

But, let me ask you, if you're one of these hard working writers – when do you truly feel what you're writing? You can't tell me you feel impassioned by the pounding of the keys as you churn out another well-researched article about the mating rituals of sperm whales, or expect me to believe you bubble over with anticipatory glee from the prospect of reporting the latest CNN poll results for the question,

Do you feel we have opinion polls so you can pretend your opinion matters to us, and you're not just an overweight slob drinking beer at three in the afternoon watching television instead of writing because you're 'conducting research'?

So, is that the secret to good writing? To depress myself into genius? Well, it's an idea. Some of the greatest artists in the world have been manic depressives. Of course, a lot of them also killed themselves.

Okay, maybe that's not the best idea I've had. But, the truth is, I don't know how to be a good, consistent writer. I don't even know what good writing is. I just know the way I feel when I write something that makes people "oooh" and "aaah" and believe that I must have some kind of special gene or have experienced an unusual upbringing to create such twisted musings only capable of spewage by someone not of the norm.

My point is this: I'm still learning, just like you are. The only way to learn is to look at yourself honestly and not hide from your flaws. There are many times in my life when I just don't feel like writing anything. Am I not a real writer because I do that? Should I look down on myself? Or, brainwash myself with classes that teach me what a "real" writer does?

So, maybe "crash writing for manic depressives" will never become a popular topic at WVU, and perhaps preaching the creative wonders of self-denouncement is not the most positive method of inspiring fellow artists to greatness.

But, if you've read this far, I must have said something that intrigued you. No matter how meaningful the words you write may be, if they're going unread, then what's the point?