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Signs of Life

Nancy Horner

Kibbles and Gifts

Three weeks before Christmas, this year, I experienced one of those horrifying gift-giving fiascos that we've all come to dread, similar to the time I gave my mother a CD, only to hear her blurt out, "But I don't own a CD player!"

On this occasion, my son's girlfriend was turning 16. Since Daniel and Lauren had been dating for over a year, I knew from his various attempts at petty theft from our home that Lauren likes decorative mirrors and candles. I set out in search of either, without bothering to consult Lauren's mother for advice.

On the evening of her birthday, I handed Daniel the package containing a lovely blue pillar candle with graduated striations of color and its hammered silver holder as he left for Lauren's house. Having just emerged from a week of urgent revisions on a short story and birthday planning for my youngest, I have to admit I was proud of myself for managing to even get around to buying a gift for Lauren at all. My husband had admired the holder--the kind that's shaped like a plate--and his approval gave me even more confidence that I'd made a terrific purchase.

Later that night, Daniel returned. "Well, did she like the candle?" I asked eagerly.
"Yeah, she liked it a lot," he replied.
"What else did she get?"
I already knew Lauren was supposed to be getting some seriously expensive gifts, but I was curious.
"She got a DVD player, a camcorder, about a hundred dollars and another candle."
My mouth dropped open.
"She got another candle?"
"Yeah, the kind that's shaped like a cake. Harriet gave it to her."
Harriet, I knew, was Lauren's dog.
"The stand you gave her is nicer."
Oh, that's terrific, I thought. I gave Lauren the same thing as the dog. I gave her a better holder, sure, but this was humiliating. The dog gave her a candle, for crying out loud.
"Harriet gave her a candle? I gave Lauren the same thing as the dog?"
Daniel snickered. "You have better taste than the dog," he said.

Two days later, still feeling stung over my ill-fated candle purchase, I sat on the floor with a roll of silver wrapping paper, preparing Christmas gifts. I had been thinking about Lauren and the fact that I was clueless, now, about what to give her for Christmas.

As I wrapped ribbon around a package, Daniel walked through the room. "Hey, Daniel," I said, stopping him in his tracks. "Have you got any scathingly brilliant ideas about what I can get Lauren for Christmas?" Without skipping a beat, Daniel turned to me with a smile. "No," he said, "But I'll ask her mom what Harriet's going to get her."