Bi-Polar

Whirling winds cloud my thoughts,
exhausting my concentration.
Vision blurred,
losing focus.
Life's unclear.

I grasp for the edge of the earth;
I feel me slipping,
Slipping into the illusions
of noisy rooms and loud people.
Trapped
in faded pictures of what isn't real.

Happy, elated.
then sad, depressed,
never knowing which mood I'll be in
or why it changes.
I cry sometimes.
Other times I fight to break free of myself.

Suicide is always an option;
I keep it close to mind.
What would the world be like without me?
Would it change for the better?
Would it change at all?
I fight for the freedom to live,
each day finding one reason to go on.

I struggle-
but that's my existence.
I survive-
it's in my control.
I live-
as my God would want,
with courage and strength,
always looking ahead,
with faith.

Copyright © 2002 by Laurie Lupold