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 Produced and published by the members of Writers' Village University since 1998    ISSN 1521-2639       
04 December 2008
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Author Interview

Janet Smith Interviews Janet Evanovich

New York Times #1 Best-Selling Author!

Two weeks ago, as I was walking through the mall, I espied Janet Evanovich’s novel, Seven Up, on the best-seller shelf of my local bookstore. I heard from friends that Janet wrote wonderfully funny and entertaining novels, so I just had to run in and buy it. I started to read it as I sat in a doctor's office waiting room and found myself chuckling out loud. I rarely read humorous books, and now I wonder what I have been missing.

The characters in Seven Up are diverse and brimming over with personality traits. I found the shoot from the hip – say it like it is style totally refreshing. I felt a part of the story as Janet’s main character, bounty hunter Stephanie Plum faced humorous and often serious conflict after conflict. Her writing is real to life, with emphasis on the humorous and wild side. Excited about my new discovery of the Stephanie Plum series, I look forward to reading all eight novels published to date. The release date for Janet’s newest Stephanie Plum novel, To the Nines, is slated for July 15 in the U.S. and Canada, and July 7 in Australia, New Zealand, U.K. and Commonwealth Territories.

Ms. Evanovich found stolen precious moments between hectic plans for her upcoming European book tour and final editing preparations of her sure-to-be next best-seller, To the Nines, to answer the following questions for T-Zero readers.
 
T-Zero: You have wowed your readers with your wildly successful Stephanie Plum series, with eight #1 best-sellers to date. Stephanie Plum is an intelligent, fun and feisty New Jersey girl who finds herself in all kinds of predicaments with her job as a bounty hunter. Did you have any idea how popular and well accepted your Stephanie Plum – bounty hunter stories would become, after writing the first of the series One for the Money?

Janet Evanovich: No. Even now it's hard to believe. I'm often surprised at how large the turnouts are at signings and events.

TZ: It is easy to see you are totally in sync with Stephanie Plum and comfortable writing in first person with her. You also clearly convey the personality traits and thoughts of your supporting characters. Are your characters like your best friends?

JE: The secondary characters are composites of relatives, friends and figments of my imagination.

TZ: We often hear how fiction is based on truth. The best part of writing fiction is that we can change the parts we want. How much of yourself is in Stephanie Plum?

JE: There's a lot of me in Stephanie. Stephanie reacts to situations the way I would. There's also a lot of my daughter in Stephanie. Stephanie's taste in music, the cars she drives, things like that are from my daughter, Alex.
TZ: After writing nine best-selling Stephanie Plum novels, including your most recent, To the Nines, do you plan to keep the Plum series going?  We want more!
JE: I'm currently contracted through book eleven in the series. I'm not sure how many Plum novels there will be. As long as I'm having fun writing them and people want to read about her, I'll keep the series going.
TZ: What specifically do you enjoy doing, other than writing?
JE: Shopping.

TZ: As a child, did you ever have dreams of becoming a sleuthing detective/bounty huntress?

JE: No. I wanted to be a horse.
TZ: What did you like to read when you were growing up?
JE: The Black Stallion series by Walter Farley, and Donald Duck and Uncle Scrooge comics.
TZ: The release date for your new novel, To the Nines, is July 7, 2003 in Australia, New Zealand, U.K. and Commonwealth Territories. The release date for the U.S. and Canada is July 15, 2003. Are you looking forward to your upcoming U.K. tour from July 9 - 12, and then upon your return to the U.S. to continue the tour until the end of July? 
JE: I always look forward to the tours. I love getting out and meeting people. I have the best readers in the world.
TZ: Why do you write?
JE: I like to make things. And the money ain't bad, either.
Congratulations, Janet, on your phenomenal success and all the best with your exciting, upcoming, overseas book tour. Have fun, and find time to ‘shop ‘til you drop’! Thank you for sharing your time with us. It is much appreciated.

Janet’s daughter, Alex Evanovich, is the Webmaster of Janet Evanovich’s website. The website is full of current events, writing news, contests, book information, witty quotes, and so much more! Check it out at: www.evanovich.com.




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Beyond the Textbook The Writers' Ezine - T-Zero Xpandizine

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Beyond the Textbook

Laurie Lupold


I was really frazzled trying to think of what to come up with for this month's column. Sometimes this can be a great challenge. After much anticipation I was able to come up with something to activate the creative mind.

Many times what I do in this column is try to motivate the writer in you. Other times I might provide tips and trivia to educate your talent but for today let's see what we can creatively motivate.

This exercise is called a modeling exercise. The basis of it is to take something you read, preferably something you enjoyed reading, and model it. See how you can take the same concept and at times the same format and recreate it. Since I have done this before I will provide an example but an original so that you, the reader, aren't the only one challenged.

The Example:

Dedication

For every child who cries at night
Alone with shame and pain and fright
For every child who wants so much
To only feel a gentle touch
For the beaten child, who cries in pain
Whose tears run silent, like the rain
For the child used to satisfy lust
Who never learns to love or trust
For the child taken from her/his home
And made to feel so all alone
For the child whose home is just a shell
Where life becomes a living hell
For the child who smiles but cannot feel
Because of scars too deep to heal
For every child who yearns for love
I hope and pray to God above
To hear your cries and heal your pain
And give you back your life again

Author unknown

My version. I tend to use poetry for this exercise but you can use what you feel comfortable with. Wish me luck.

Dedication

For every child who feels pain
Sees no sunlight, only rain
For every child who's left bruised
Empty, lonely and abused
For the battered child, who cries at night
Left in a world of pain and fright
Used to fill an adult's need
Who's filled with lust, hate and greed
For the child stripped from his castle
His life being a constant hassle
For the child whose being has become empty
His life destroyed, his pain, destiny
For the child whose emotions are now numb
He cannot trust in anyone
For every child who deserves more
You might have heard this said before
I'll share your pain and feel your heart
From there we'll let the healing start.

Laurie Lupold
©2003 All Rights Reserved

 

I pray I did the exercise right.
If not, please be polite.
 




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Catherine's Kitchen The Writers' Ezine - T-Zero Xpandizine

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Catherine's Kitchen

Catherine Manning

Birds are amazing and clever. Since I've been up here, I've fed the birds, like I did at home. So now I must have a hundred coming for food and they know when to come as well. They know when I feed the turtles in the morning and when I feed the dogs and the turtles in the afternoon. They also know when I scrape the saucepan I use for the dogs, as they will get rice scraps, sometimes I think they're going to land on my head. They are really quite tame and don't rush to fly away when I move around. Also I have pans of water for the turtles which the birds bathe in, so I have to keep refilling.

We don't have a large number of species of birds in Barbados as we don't have the vegetation like the other islands, at least not generally, though there are areas that have several different species. However, here I have blackbirds, sparrows, rain birds, swallows, finches, yellow breasts, hummingbirds and the odd budgie might pay a visit. The budgies are usually from captivity, but a cousin of mine who lives about two miles away as the crow flies has a large number of budgies and lovebirds, who fly around during the day and go home at night to nest, so I guess they stray sometimes. Doves as well, wood doves and ground doves and when I have the sprinkler going they love to sit under it and lift their wings to cool off.

My favourites are the finches as they are tiny and busy and guess they are in my face a lot, as they seem to have no fear and are in and out of the house. I think this started when one of the babies got lost and flew into the garage, first to get stalked by the cats and then by the dogs. I had to shut them all out and let the parents persuade the baby to get out and then the same thing happened in the house, eventually I had to give the baby a little shove with a broom to get it outside. After that, things were fine, it learned how to fly.

But since then, this married couple has decided to build a nest in one of my hanging plants in the living room and no amount of dissuasion on my part will stop them. They have been busy in and out and have built the nest in two days. The amazing thing is, they work 8am-4pm! No lie, I have watched them and they start when I open the doors in the morning and stop around four in the afternoon. What will happen when the egg is laid remains to be seen, guess I will have to leave a window open for the father to visit!

When the baby starts to fly is another story, just hope I'm around and the dogs have got accustomed to having the birds around the house. I noticed today that the female is beginning to nest and the male visits sometimes, but obviously not often enough as she calls a lot, but he does not always come, just answers from outside. How human, typical male! It will be interesting to see if he relieves her after the egg is laid. Update later I hope!

I want to surprise everyone and get this column off early for once, so must finish now. Hope I can keep it up in the future or I might miss the boat! Surprised I haven't done that already.

We are in the middle of a drought, no proper rain for months so everything is parched and dust flies if I try to cut the grass, which is really only cutting grass seed, which has grown up. Hope we get some rain soon, which doesn't wash us away in one downpour, which happens too often.

Mangoes are now in season and seem to be plentiful, unlike last year, so I'm stocking up as much as I can for jam and chutney. So far the ones that I've been able to get are only suitable for jam as they are cooking too soft for chutney.
 

Easy Mango Jam

This is a general recipe open to adjustment, except for the 2-1 rule. Serves 6.

  • 4 cups chopped ripe mango pulp
  • 2 Tbs. lime juice (or lemon)
  • 5 cups granulated sugar
  • 1 Box pectin granules
  • 1 tsp. butter
Place mango pulp in a saucepan with very little water, bring to boil, lower heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Add lime juice and pectin and bring to boil, stirring so it doesn't burn. Boil for a minute or two and then add the sugar, stir to dissolve and bring back to the boil. Boil hard for one minute, add butter and take off heat. Stir well till any froth is absorbed and bottle in sterilized jars.

I prefer to use pectin as I find that boiling jam to setting point causes the jam to lose flavour as well as taking longer. Sometimes if the fruit is watery, like melon, I'll add more pectin, but that can be expensive.

This morning was my market morning so I was up at 4am. It was good and everything sold except for one lemon meringue pie, which was obviously dropped from a great height, so I'm tired and tonight is hopefully an early night.

I enjoy it, as even though it's early it's becoming a social occasion. I put out my stuff and leave it to the others to sell. I then get everything I want and also buy my daughter's veggies for the week and since we have a coffee machine, I have my weekly cup of coffee and a gossip. It's become a gathering point and new faces appear every week. And a good snack with coffee is:

BANANA SQUARES  

  • 4 ozs. Margarine or butter
  • 2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1-1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup toasted chopped nuts
  • 3 1-1/2 cups mashed bananas
  • 2 tsp. vanilla essence

Butter Frosting

1/4 cup margarine or butter melted until brown.
Mix in 2 cups of icing sugar and beat in 1 tsp. vanilla and 3 Tbs. milk until smooth and of spreading consistency.

Heat oven to 375F and grease pan 15-1/2" x 10-1/2". Mix margarine, sugar, sour cream and eggs in large mixing bowl till smooth. Blend in flour mixture and stir in nuts... Spread mixture in pan and smooth. Bake approximately 20-25 minutes until light brown and tester comes out clean. Cool and frost. Cut into squares and serve.

Bon Appetit!
Cath



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Craft of Writing The Writers' Ezine - T-Zero Xpandizine

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Craft of Writing

Betsy Gallup

The Power of Ten

Have you ever considered the difference between a writer and a published writer? The difference is that a published writer develops a plan for marketing his or her work. McDonald's does not introduce a new burger into the marketplace without having a plan, and neither should you introduce your work without a plan of your own.

After reading such books as Stephen King’s On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, Peter Bowerman’s The Well-Fed Writer, and many others, I have developed The Power of Ten Plan. In 10 distinct steps, you can research, create, market, and promote a wealth of articles meant not only to provide you with a paycheck, but to provide you the name recognition and substantial portfolio that will enhance your appeal to editors. By following this plan, you give yourself the best chance at succeeding, not only as a published writer, but as a paid writer.

Step 1 – Review 10 Sources
Editors are looking for thoroughly researched material, not merely your personal experience. To satisfy this need, prepare yourself for success. Find 10 sources relevant to your topic. You don’t need to quote from all 10 sources, but by delving into 10 viewpoints, you have a good handle on your subject. You cannot only write about the topic and offer different observations; you can discuss your topic in detail. Your extra effort will show editors you are serious about being a writer.

Step 2 – Find 10 Angles
No one said you couldn’t write about the same topic twice. After spending time reviewing so many sources, you should be equipped to approach the same topic from 10 angles. For example, you do the research on the statistical aspects of weight gain. One article can look at it strictly from a statistical basis (20 years ago women weighed, on average, 15 pounds less than they do now) and cite expert speculation about the cause. Your targeted market is a women’s magazine. The next article takes on the same problem; only this time, you are looking at children under the age of 12. This time, your market is parenting magazines. The next article can discuss the possible correlation between weight gain and the convenience of fast food extra-value meals. Each article can lead to another, and all the articles were started with the knowledge you gained from those first 10 sources.

Step 3 – Let It Sit 10 Days
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a well-written article. If your article is time-sensitive, let it sit 10 hours. No matter what, give yourself time between the first set of revisions and the second. You need time away to re-evaluate your work with a clear perspective. It is too easy to read between the lines, especially when the work is your own. You know the actor playing George Foreman is a native of Cuba and could not speak English six months ago. If you fail to tell the reader, will he fully appreciate why you are raving about the actor’s ability to so aptly pick up Foreman’s dialect? Let your article rest. Let your mind rest. Give it 10 days and look at it again.

Step 4 – Research 10 Paying Markets
How many times have you read comments from an editor complaining about the number of queries or submissions received that are not suitable for his or her magazine? It is inconvenient for the editor — the first person you want to impress — and it is a waste of stamps, supplies, and your time.

Step 5 – Have 10 Articles Ready
When one story sells, have another ready to go in its place. This is no time to sit back and wait. Always be working on something new. This will keep your work (and, hopefully, your pay) flowing on a consistent basis. A magazine publisher once told me that a direct mailing to a million people would result in only 1% to 2% response for new subscriptions. If writing results in the same return, that would mean you would have to send out between 50 and 100 submissions to have one article published. No one said it was easy.

Step 6 – Submit 10 Queries/Articles
In many cases, editors would rather be queried before seeing the complete article, but in the case of new writers, some would prefer to see the completed article. Read the publication's guidelines and act accordingly. There was a time when most markets would not accept simultaneous submissions. Those days are fading away. Unless you have a specific market in mind, or the submission guidelines forbid simultaneous submissions, take advantage of the opportunity. This is especially true for new writers who have not built up name recognition. As a novice, the odds of being published become even greater and you will need to find your luck where you can.

Step 7 – Expect 10 Rejections
You may not get 10 rejections. You may even sell your article on the first try, but if you are prepared for 10 rejections, every time you receive a rejection, you will see it as one step closer to publication. Rejection slips will no longer symbolize failure; rather they will be seen as badges of honor issued to writers brave enough to take a chance on success.

Step 8 – Consider 10 Nonpaying Markets
If you received 10 rejections, it is time to re-evaluate your work. Can it be reworked into something else? Is it time to cut your losses and move on to a fresher, more interesting topic? If you believe you have done your best to sell your article, and it still doesn’t sell, look into nonpaying markets. True, there is a faction of writers who believe giving your work away weakens the market as a whole and devalues everyone’s work but, if done properly, you are not giving your work away. You are exchanging it for something equally as important: name recognition. Many nonpaying markets offer writers bylines, links back to the writer’s Web site, a chance to receive comments from the readers (an all-too-often underrated perk). Comments from a variety of people can give you a fresh look at your work and possibly guide you into a more lucrative approach. McDonalds, IBM, Ford, HP – in fact, any company you can identify as successful – are successful because their names have become universal symbols of excellence. In other words, name recognition has played a key role into their success. Nonpaying markets can also act as proving grounds that allow novice writers to build a portfolio large enough to get the attention of paying markets.

Step 9 – Consider 10 Reprint Markets
Congratulations! You’ve been published. Now you can put that story to the side and move on, right? Wrong. If you put it away now, you are losing out on untapped resources. Many markets will accept reprints. Let it sit 10 months and then find a new market for it. The key to reprints is knowing what rights you have retained. When your story is published, keep a copy of it with a copy of your contract, e-mail, Web site guidelines, whatever you have that details what rights you sold when you accepted money for publication. When you get ready to market the reprint, you will have the information at your fingertips. You sold first electronic rights to Simon Says to XYZ Publisher, with an agreement the story would not be reprinted for three months. Now you know your market can be anyone who sells reprints.

If you are unfamiliar with the process of selling the rights to your work, read A Novice Writer's Guide to Rights by Claire E. White. Narrow your list of potential reprint markets down to the 10 best for your article.

Step 10 – Review Your 10 Best
You’ve been published. You have a solid portfolio. You have built name recognition to the point editors trust your work. Some editors even come to you with writing assignments. Now go through your portfolio, find 10 of your best. What do they have in common? Have you become a quasi-expert in any one area? Did you find the market eager to publish a specific topic? Take your best idea and work up a book query. You have the best sales pitch in front of you. You have the proof that you know your topic well enough to develop it into a full-blown book. You know your market and can explain how major magazines published your articles on the subject, and how the editors asked for follow-up stories. And best yet, you can once again use the research you did in Step 1.

In 10 steps, you have gone from writer to published writer. You have made money, built a reputation for you, seen your work read by thousands, if not millions. You have overcome your fear of rejection slips. You have carried out your dream, and all this because you focused on a plan.


About The Author

Betsy Gallup is a full-time mother to an 11-year-old son, and infant twins. She has had several articles, essays, and short stories published. She is now writing a non-fiction book under contract for publication, and she has recently procured an agent to represent her first novel, Destiny, a suspense/romance delving into the world of a renown psychic. With what time she has left, she operates Whim’s Place, a showcase for the work of talented writers.



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Fiction Short Story The Writers' Ezine - T-Zero Xpandizine

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Fiction Short Story

by Les Combs

Job's Curse

Me and God had a disagreement, a difference of opinion. I don't know how big a problem it was for Him, but it was a sure-enough trial for me.

Everybody knows God is a Democrat. I learned that early in life; entire generations of my family being rabidly red-dog in their thinking. Sometime during the last presidential campaign I changed my allegiance and decided to vote for the other party. This act of secession was not widely known. In fact, it was a secret between me and, as it turned out, God.

Knowledge of His interest in the matter came in dramatic revelation the Sunday morning before Election Day. It happened on the road to Damascus. That's Damascus, AR 72039. My folks live out that way, and I often drive up for Sunday dinner. I'd just passed Greenbrier when a voice boomed out, "BOY, WHO YOU GOING TO VOTE FOR?" James Earl Jones in SurroundSound.

There's not a lot of room in the cab of a pickup, but I looked all around and made sure the radio wasn't on. I even craned my neck to check the empty bed through the back glass.

"LET'S HEAR THE TRUTH NOW, BOY. WHO IS IT?"

I'm not one to be pushed around by just anybody, and my temper got the best of me. "I don't believe that's anybody's damn business but my own."

"YOU BETTER WATCH THAT MOUTH, BOY."

Man, I never knew you could get that kind of echo in a truck cab.

"I'M GOING TO SEE TO IT THAT YOU GET YOUR MIND RIGHT."

It wasn't a second later that I felt some discomfort in the vicinity of my wallet. By the time I got to my folks' house I was shifting positions on the seat, looking for relief.

"That's ugly," Mama said. I lay facedown across the bed, pants around my knees, while she applied a poultice to the flaring red boil on my right cheek. "How long have you had that?"

"Not long, Mama. Do you think that stuff will cure it?" She'd whipped up a paste of sulfur and mineral spirits, smeared it on a sanitary napkin and Scotch-taped it across the tender area.

"Hard to say, son. It's in God's hands now." Well that was comforting to know. I ate dinner standing up.

Driving home was possible only because of Mama's pink satin pillow borrowed off her couch. The radio offered no solace. Every station carried church services. Preachers hollered about sin and punishment, choirs sang of repentance and forgiveness. In a highly agitated state I clicked the radio off. With one ear cocked, I half hoped for a bargaining session from on high, but heard no thundering voices. The lonesome sound of tires on the pavement brought no relief from my pain.

Monday morning, after a sleepless night, I held a hand mirror to view my bottom reflected in the bathroom full-length glass. A rosy Mount Erebus greeted me, angry and throbbing. Purple rivers of inflammation extended from a base the size of an Oreo cookie.

"HA-HA-HA. NOW THAT'S UGLY." He was back, loud as before and showing a mean streak.

My neighbor in the next apartment pounded on the wall. "Turn it down!" The guy was a crank who frequently complained about the volume on my hi-fi. Anybody who doesn't appreciate Bob Wills' music must be sick.

God wasn't done with me. "CHANGE YOUR MIND YET, BOY?" Always cool, I maintained my bent-over position. If He wanted a good look, let Him get an eyeful.

More wall pounding. "I'm trying to sleep in here. Turn it down, for God's sake!" If this went on much longer I'd be evicted, thrown out in the parking lot with an erupting boil on my bottom.

"KNOCK IT OFF IN HERE, BUDDY, OR YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE REAL TROUBLE." This time the booming voice came from the next-door apartment, the sound muffled a bit by the walls. The neighbor's complaints abruptly ended. Not another peep to this very day.

"TOMORROW'S ELECTION DAY, BOY. I KNOW YOU'LL DO THE RIGHT THING." He left me staring into the mirror and not liking what I saw. I began to wonder if the road to independent thought might have a few too many bumps.

I was among the first at the polls Tuesday morning. The minute I brought the lever down on a straight-ticket Democratic vote, I felt whole again. The pain vanished as suddenly as it had come. I walked to my truck with jaunty step.

"NOW THAT WASN'T SO HARD, WAS IT, BOY?" I suppressed a smart-assed retort and got in my truck. Don't ever underestimate the power of a political activist.

© Copyright 2003 Les Combs
 

About the Author:

Les Combs is a retiree living in Arkansas. A dozen or more of his short stories have been published in various print and e-zine venues. He credits WVU and the Creative Energy Unlimited group with whatever writing skills he may possess.


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Fiction Short Story

by Wayne Sheer

The Secret Life of Will Squires

Will Squires grew tired of writing realistic fiction. He wanted to try something different, something out of the ordinary something ... fantastic.

He thought it might be fun to write about an ordinary man being abducted by aliens, probed and examined, questioned and prodded, then returned to his normal existence with complete recall of the event. The story would focus on his attempt to live the life of a responsible family man haunted by a secret his family and friends would consider ludicrous.

"What are you working on now?" his wife asked.

"A story about a family man with a secret."

He watched her brow wrinkle and her lips tighten. He knew what that meant.

"It's fiction, dear. The main character isn't me."

"Uh-huh." Her Tuesday afternoon, "Know Thyself," group had told her that “our fantasies are as much about who we are as our jobs and the way we dress.” With that in mind, she watched her husband carefully and read his stories with a wary eye.

Will no longer created characters that cheated on their spouse or hated their lives. It wasn't worth the discussion afterwards. And he felt guilty writing a story and not sharing it with his wife. He and Bonnie had been together so long, not sharing his work would be almost as much an infidelity as sleeping with the next-door neighbor, who, he once admitted to Bonnie, he would love to sleep with.

"Go ahead," Bonnie said.

"She's half my age and not interested."

"I know." Bonnie smiled.

She was a good woman, Will thought, just a little insecure after his retirement from Zygot Industries after thirty years as Information Manager. She was worried he'd be bored at home. Her ‘Life After Retirement’ group warned her that corporate men on average develop heart conditions within five years of retirement. This was Will's third year since he severed relations with Zygot and Bonnie still watched him closely.

When he first retired, she made him go to the doctor every six months for a routine examination.

"I'm healthy, Bon. Even the cardiologist thinks so." Will kissed his wife. "You don't have to worry about me. I know exactly what I want to do with my retirement."

"What?"

"I want to write."

"Write what?"

"Stories, fiction."

"You mean a novel?"

"Maybe, but not necessarily. I just want to spend time with myself and write what I think about."

This frightened Bonnie, so she joined the 'Know Thyself - What-Do-We-Really-Mean-When-We-Say-What-We-Say' Tuesday afternoons. At first, she dragged Will to her groups. But he was miserable.

"If I wanted to spend time in meetings listening to people talk about what they think is important, I would have stayed on the job," he told her. "I want to write."

And it turned out he was pretty good at it. He even began publishing his stories in a number of small journals.

Bonnie learned to appreciate his passion and left him alone most of the day. Most evenings and weekends they spent together happily. It was a near ideal arrangement, until she joined the 'Know Thyself' group on Tuesdays and scrutinized his fiction for what it revealed about him.

So how was he going to write about his character's alien abduction without Bonnie worrying that he had finally lost his mind? Still, he wanted to try it.

He decided to create a character in a totally different line of work from his own. He made his character an English professor, teaching at a small college in Atlanta, Georgia. The story, as he wrote it, appeared to be a straightforward, realistic tale about the quiet academic life when suddenly in broad daylight while walking to work the character, Wayne Scheer, feels a slight tingling sensation and is instantly transposed from Atlanta to the planet Lemphadrineon in the Magon Lanix galaxy.

He wakes and finds he has been morphed into his original condition, except he is naked. In a room filled with mattresses and soft pillows, Wayne is encouraged to have sex with three of the most beautiful women he's ever imagined. And the women, as flexible as gymnasts and as desiring to please as a Geisha, engage in positions Wayne had only dreamt of.

After what seemed like days of continuous sex, but was probably only a few hours, he lay drained and spent, aching for rest.

"No more," he heard himself beg. "Please. No more."

With that, the women (suddenly) transformed into scientists with white coats, and looking like members of Clone-Aid, they began taking notes on yellow legal pads. They questioned Wayne about the complete gamut of his fantasy life from oral sex to baseball. Then they probed all of his orifices and attached an electromagnetic device to his seriously shriveled sex organ. Once they completed their examination and removed the magnetic device, they pecked him on the cheek and wished him luck back on earth.

Instantly, Wayne returned mid-step to Atlanta. Checking to make sure his clothes were in place, he continued his walk as if nothing had happened.

Will was writing the section of the story where Wayne debates whether or not to tell his wife of his alien infidelity when Bonnie entered the room.

"Hi, honey. You were so busy I tried not to disturb you, but dinner will be ready in about ten minutes."

"Oh, that's good. I'm starving."

"What have you been up to? You have the strangest smile on your face."

Without hesitation, Will printed out what he'd been working on. "Have a seat. I'd like to get your reaction."

He watched her read and was relieved when she laughed out loud.

"What part did you laugh at?"

"At Wayne's sexual fantasies."

"I thought you'd like that."

When she finished reading, she asked, "How are you going to end this one?"

"I haven't the slightest idea."

"I suggest you make the wife more sympathetic at the end. She's a real idiot at the beginning, you know? What with all her groups and fears about her husband."

"Just comic relief.”

"Uh-huh." Will watched as she wrinkled her brow and tightened her lips. "Do you want me to quit my groups?" she asked.

"Maybe just the Tuesday afternoon one."

© Copyright 2003 Wayne Scheer
 

About the Author:

After teaching college writing and literature for twenty-five years, Wayne Scheer recently retired to follow his own advice, and write. Some of his stories have appeared in Flashquake, E2K, StoryOne, Unlikely Stories and The Phone Book. He was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in 2002.Wayne lives in Atlanta with his wife. He can be contacted at wvscheer@aol.com.



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Fiction Short Story

by Simon Wood

The Stash

The squirrel stood on its hind legs, twitched its nose and stared at Detective Jane Horsley. Jane stared back. The squirrel was a funny little fella. He was a patchwork of gray and red with a fantastic fountain of rust for a tail. She didn't know what they called these crossbreeds. Patches, as she'd just christened him, cocked his head to one side and weighed her up with the same quizzical eye she reserved for him.

Detective Mike Kansas rubbed shoulders with Jane. "Do you think he'll make a good witness?"

"I'm sure he saw something. I doubt much gets past him."

Mike fished out his cell and poised a finger over the keypad, ready to punch in a number. "Shall I call in Sergeant Doolittle? I believe he speaks fluent squirrel."

Jane turned to him. He was smiling as much as she. "Shut up, you fool."

Mike put the phone away. "Jokes aside, we sure could do with a break."

Jane sighed. He wasn't wrong. The cul-de-sac burglaries, as the press had dubbed them, were an embarrassment to her and the department. She'd had excellent stats until this case. Her conviction rate was second to none. Although nothing was being said, not directly to her anyway, she knew the pressure was on to get a result. She was at the stage where she'd take a break in whatever shape or form it came in, and she wouldn't turn down an inquisitive squirrel in a hurry.

"C'mon," Jane said. "Let's not give the residents the image that we're taking this case lightly."

Mike led the way to the doorstep of 7 Heavenly Court, the last of the exclusive thirteen-home development to be burgled. Most people would have given their right arm to have Muir Woods as their backyard. But the high-profile thefts ended that dream, along with appreciating house prices. The homeowners couldn't sell and the buyers didn't want to know. Jane pressed the doorbell and got out her badge.

A slender man in his forties answered the door with a scowl. "About time you lot turned up. Your uniformed colleagues have done nothing but sit around and help themselves to coffee."

"Mr. Carl Jordan?" Jane asked.

"Obviously."

"I'm Detective Jane Horsley and this is..."

"I know who you are. I've seen enough of your excuses in the newspapers." Jordan stood back. "Come in."

Suitably scolded, Jane and Mike followed Jordan into his kitchen. Jordan didn't sit, so Jane and Mike didn't either. He thrust a single sheet torn from a legal pad at Jane.

She examined the handwritten list. "What's this?"

"Everything that was taken."

Jane scanned the list. The items listed were small, valuable, easily concealed, and easy to fence. Already, she didn't fancy her chances at reclaiming any of the stolen belongings.

"My insurance company told me to make the list and give it to you. I just need a report number to file a claim. I don't have any faith in you recovering my possessions but at least I can be compensated for my loss."

It was a speech Jane had heard many times. Homeowners felt violated after a burglary and if they didn't see immediate results, they played high and mighty with the cops. In some ways, Jordan's antagonism was warranted. She and Mike had fallen down on the job twelve times before on Heavenly Court, why should this time be any different? She let Jordan's scorn wash over her, never letting a drop soak in.

Jane handed the list to Mike. "I wonder if I can get few details?"

"What for?"

"I believe the burglaries have been perpetrated by the same person and after thirteen burglaries, I wouldn't be surprised to see cracks in his MO."

Jordan snorted. "Practice makes imperfect."

"That's right, sir."

"Yeah, but for whom--you or the thief?"

***

The detectives left Jordan's house with the slammed door's echo still ringing in their ears. Jane felt deflated. It was hard not to, after Jordan's farewell tongue-lashing.

"That was fun," Mike said with a frown. "Now what?"

Jane wasn't listening. The squirrel distracted her. Patches was still sitting in the same place where she'd first spotted him. He gestured to her with his tail.

"I think we should go back to the station and... Jane, are you listening to me?"

"I think he wants to show us something."

"Who?"

"Him."

"The squirrel?"

"C'mon."

Making a move towards Patches, the squirrel scampered along the footpath separating 9 and 10 Heavenly Court. Patches was swift and both Jane and Mike struggled to keep up as the creature led them deep into the forest.

"This is ridiculous," Mike grumbled between breaths.

Jane didn't think so. She was sure she'd finally gotten her break.

Five minutes into the forest, Patches stopped in front of a tangle of interwoven trees waist deep in dense foliage. But upon closer inspection, they realized the foliage was in fact, a tarp camouflaged to look like foliage. The squirrel disappeared inside.

Jane glanced at Mike. He frowned. She smiled.

The squirrel emerged with a pair of diamond earrings. The creature brandished the jewelry and chittered impatiently. Jane recognized them from the manifest of items stolen from 3 Heavenly Court. Mike yanked the tarp free, exposing everything stolen from Heavenly Court.

"I think we've got our thief," Mike announced. "But how do we cuff him?"

Jane shook her head. "He's not our perp. He couldn't have moved that painting. But I have an idea who did."

***

"Did you catch Jordan?" Jane asked.

"You were right," Mike said. "He came back at five this morning to move the stash back to his house."

"After systematically ripping off his neighbors, it was obvious he would have to stage his own break-in to allay suspicion."

"How's our furry crime fighter?"

"A lot better now that Jordan's stash is off his winter reserves. Just goes to show, don't ever come between a squirrel and his nuts."


© Copyright 2003  Simon Wood
 

About the Author:

Simon Wood is a California transplant from England. He shares his world with Julie (his American wife), Royston (a longhaired dachshund) and Streetcar (a cat), all rescued from the barbaric Californian streets. In the last three years, he's had over seventy stories published around the world. Last August, his debut novel, the suspense-thriller, Accidents Waiting To Happen, was released, which has been nominated for a Bloody Dagger award by the reviewers of All About Murder. His short story collection, "Dragged Into Darkness," is slated for release in August 2003.



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Fiction Short Story

by Stephen D. Rogers

Will Power

Today's visit was strained. My daughter was withdrawn and fidgety, even now pulling at her lips with thin fingers. On the other side of my bed, her husband was his usual falsely cheerful self.

I saw through Thomas from the very beginning. My daughter was sure that he loved her. I was sure that he loved the idea of eventually inheriting my money. Unfortunately, I was proven right.

Thomas smiled. "So how are the nurses treating you?"

"Well enough, thank you. Marissa, she has three children and two dogs, or maybe two children and three dogs, brings me homemade banana bread."

Sally let go of her lip long enough to speak. "I would have baked something, Mom, but there wasn't time."

"I know dear. I was just observing how nice the people are here."

Thomas nodded. "That's wonderful. I see they still let you sew."

I glanced at the pile of fabric on the ledge. "Yes. Hobbies help pass the time. I'm making bonnets for Marissa's twin girls."

Sally frowned. She had always wanted children. Thomas didn't. He said there was a history of genetic illness in his family but I think the only illness there was greed. He didn't like the idea of grandchildren taking a slice of my money.

My daughter suddenly stood. "Mom, if you'll excuse me, I need some fresh air."

"You just take your time. The garden is lovely right now. Some of the ladies have even started planting their own little patches."

As soon as Sally closed the door behind her, Thomas stood and began pacing my little home away from home. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"You know what. We talked on the telephone yesterday for an hour about it."

I rearranged my comforter. "Sally wants a divorce and you won't sign the papers unless I promise you half of my estate."

"That's right. I'd ask for more, but Sally might be able to fight it in court. But half? That's not unreasonable. Haven't I been the loving son-in-law, visiting you regularly?"

"You certainly have visited me regularly."

"So, did you draw up the will?"

I nodded. "My lawyer was here yesterday. Marissa signed as witness."

"And she brought you banana bread. That girl is bucking for employee of the month."

"As I said, they're very nice here." I took a deep breath. "I expect you to sign the divorce papers with no mention of our little agreement. Sally doesn't need to know anything about the new will."

Thomas stopped and stared at me as if he could frighten out the truth. "And how do I know you won't just write another one cutting me out once the divorce is final?"

"My lawyer added language so that only the distribution of Sally's portion can ever be changed."

My son-in-law smiled. "Excellent."

"I assume you have a safety deposit box somewhere that Sally doesn't know about. A will is an important document and I don't want her coming across it by accident."

"I'll get one this afternoon. Thanks for the suggestion."

Shifting in the bed, I controlled my face so he wouldn't have the pleasure of seeing how much it hurt. "You could have made her happy you know."

"She's the one who chooses to be unhappy."

"Sally only wants children."

"After the divorce, she can remarry and have as many as she wants. It won't matter to me."

Sally once believed he loved her. I don't know how long it took her to discover she was wrong but my heart broke for her. She deserved better than Thomas.

I'd see my little girl happy if it was the last thing I did.

"I want you to sign those divorce papers today. Sign them and give them to Sally without argument."

Thomas agreed as he stepped closer. "So where's this will?"

I reached under my pillow and handed it to him.

He looked at me in disbelief. "You wrote it on fabric?" He held the white piece of linen by two fingers as though it were a dirty handkerchief.

"My lawyer said it was legal and fabric was the only material available. The business office was closed at lunch when he arrived or he would have borrowed some letterhead."

"So long as it's legal." Thomas started to read. "I can't believe you used a purple pen."

"Again, it was all I had."

I watched him devour the document, certain he was able to follow the complicated language well enough to feel his position secure.

"This looks good."

"I instructed my lawyer to make sure he didn't leave any loopholes. No matter what happens, that will promises you half of everything."

For the first time, Thomas smiled a genuine smile. "I'm sorry it had to come to this."

"I just want Sally to be happy."

At that moment, the door opened and my daughter entered the room. Thomas turned away and quickly folded the will into his shirt pocket.

I asked Sally if she was feeling better.

"Yes, thanks. I'm sorry about that, Mom. I guess I didn't sleep too well last night." She glanced at Thomas.

"That's quite all right. The air in here does tend to get stuffy. Thomas and I were just chatting about sewing."

"Really?"

Thomas nodded. "Your mother is quite a woman." He pointed at the time. "Unfortunately, we really must be going."

"Thanks for visiting, both of you. It means a lot to an old lady."

Sally kissed me on the cheek while Thomas watched from a distance.

After the ritual exchange of quick good-byes, they left.

I breathed an enormous sigh of relief. Sally would get her divorce. I only hoped she would make a better choice next time.

As to Thomas, well I hadn't been entirely honest with him. The will did promise everything I said. The purple pen, however, used disappearing ink meant for tracing patterns. After seventy-two hours, Thomas would find his safety deposit box contained nothing more than an unmarked piece of white linen.

© Copyright 2003  Stephen D. Rogers
 

About the Author:

Over two hundred and fifty of Stephen's stories and poems have been selected to appear in over a hundred publications. When not setting down words, he is busy keeping http://www.stephendrogers.com safe for visitors.



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Healthy Horizons

Laurie Lupold


Schizoaffective disorder being a part of my diagnosis left me clueless as to what was going on with me. Therefore I decided to do a bit of research on my own and find out what exactly this mystery illness is. Since there is so much information to cover this month I am going to break it down to the basics of what the illness is and the following month will go more in depth into the base of this illness.

Schizoaffective disorder is an illness in which there are both mood swings (depression or mania) and SOME of the psychotic symptoms of schizophrenia.

Symptoms of depression: Poor appetite, weight loss or perhaps gain, insomnia, agitation, general slowing down, feeling of worthlessness, guilt, inability to think and concentrate, thoughts of death and/or suicide

Mania: Increase of socialization and/or sexual activity, increased/rapid talking, rapid or racing thoughts, Grandiosity, little need for sleep, agitation, inflated self esteem, distractibility, self-destructive activities

Psychotic: Delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech or thinking, grossly disorganized or catatonic (negativity, silence) behavior, total immobility, lack of facial expression, lack of speech motivation, negative symptoms, i.e., affective, flattening, alogia, avolition

What causes schizoaffective disorder? Possibly a mixture of biological, genetic and environmental factors.

Schizoaffective disorder is a lifelong illness for most. Most people have a flare-up periodically at times of stress. These periods are called relapses. Between relapses, most people have only mild symptoms.

Treatment: Accept that you have a prolonged illness. This is very important because if you cannot accept it you cannot and will not bring yourself into full treatment to cope with the illness.
  • Identify your strengths and limitations
  • Make clear, realistic goals
  • After a relapse, go slowly and gradually back into your responsibilities. Don't overwhelm yourself.
  • Keep a consistent, daily routine
  • Make your home as quiet, calm and relaxed as you possibly can.
  • Try to be active in treatment
  • Take medications regularly
  • Identify early signs of relapse
  • Get involved with a group of people you feel comfortable with
  • Avoid street drugs
  • Use alcohol wisely
  • Eat a well balanced diet
  • Get enough rest
  • Get regular exercise
  • If you are not sure your fears are based on reality, ask someone you trust
  • Accept that there will be setbacks at times
  • Medications: Antipsychotic
A person's appearance might change. His/her eye contact may become increased or withdrawn. Facial expressions may be come more noticeable or less obvious. Motor skills may decrease. This person may become less cooperative. Mood will vary. Attitude may become flat. Speech may show obvious change. Person may or may not become suicidal. Homicidal reaction may or may not be present. Orientation becomes confused. Delusions may be possible as well as hallucinations. Point of view or insight may vary.

This illness may sound quite frightening in its current format but in the month(s) to come we will continue to break it down and provide resourceful information and an inside view of living with this and other illnesses to which the reader can further comprehend as a means of hope and understanding.

I have dealt with mental illness for most of my years and beyond this I have lived a life filled with so much wisdom and emotion that needs and deserves to be expressed. Healthy Horizons is my place to do just that. It is my haven to educate and provide to my readers what life is outside their world and perhaps even on the inside.

It's a place where we may learn, laugh or even cry. It's a grasp into reality. Being my first column and closest to my heart, it has become an important part of my life and hopefully, one day, a part of yours.



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Poetics Presents The Writers' Ezine - T-Zero Xpandizine

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Poetics Presents

Saundra Lee Woodworth

Saundra Lee Woodworth has been writing short stories since she was 12. Writing is like breathing to her... necessary for life! She won the WVU newsletter New Millennium poetry contest in 2000 and the only ever annual TTNR short story contest in the summer of 2001 with her story "It's Not Just A Job." She is married, has three children, a dog, two parakeets and two cats. She lives in Kentucky.
 

Excuses 101 (with apologies to Dr Seuss!)

I sit and stare and stare at the wall,
I have written,
Exactly,
Nothing at all!

My mind,
It is vacant,
The ideas,
They won't come.
I'm really afraid,
My brain has gone numb!

I stand up and walk
Around and around,
I notice a pencil
Down on the ground.

Over I bend,
And quick pick it up,
But look under there!
It's my pink cup!

Oh dear, oh dear,
Just look at the junk
That got shoved under here!

How long has it been
Since I've moved the couch?
I really hate housework,
I'm such a slouch...

Better get busy!
Who knows what I'll find?
A towel, a toothbrush
A shiny new dime!

WAIT A MINUTE!

I was writing,
(oh yeah)
Hey! An Idea!

I rush to the keyboard,
My fingers are flexed,
I take a deep breath
And write... and write...
Zip!
Aw shoot!
I think that I'm hexed.

I can hear the pie
Calling my name,
Why, if I eat it,
I'll be back in the game!

That was the last piece of pie,
My daughter will cry...

Unless...
Unless I bake sugar cookies!

That's what she'll want!
And while I'm at it,
I'll make a croissant.

NOW, back to the keyboard I go,
If I can just get,
All my ducks in a row!

I'll surf the net,
In its infinite strata,
I'm sure I will find
Lots of new data!

Did you know that hamsters could hold food equal to their body weight in their cheek
pouches? (gross!)

Did you know that the Purple Violet is the Illinois state flower?
Did you know that Madonna's first hit single was "Like A Virgin" way back in
1982?
(Where does time go?)
Did you know that J. K. Rowling (author of Harry Potter books) supports charities for
Multiple Sclerosis because her mother died of the disease at age 45?

Hold on...
I'm getting nowhere,
I keep chasing
A wild hare!

Once there was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Oh drat,
That's been done
I need an idea...
An original one!

Let's see...
A boy and his dog,
Find a hog...
No, that's dumb.

A girl and her friend
A girl and her friend...
A girl and her friend WHAT?

"Mom! Mom! Come quick! It's Vader and he's gonna tell Luke!"

Star Wars!
Now there's an idea,
Science Fiction is fun,
A girl named Mia,
A sleek white ship,
She's just starting out
On a lifetime trip.

I can't believe it!
Look at the time!
Now we'll have to stand in line.

My daughter's game won't take long,
Then pizza
And finally,
Family to bed,
And then,
I just KNOW,
Oodles of ideas will
Fill my head!

Quiet time alone,
That's what I need,
Oh look!
A new mystery to read!

I'll just read a chapter or two

I can't believe the butler did it!
How cliché is that?
I could write a better book
About mysterious Mr. Rat

Hey! Maybe I'll do just that!

Copyright © 2003 by Saundra Lee Woodworth



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Recognitions The Writers' Ezine - T-Zero Xpandizine

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Recognitions

Joan McNulty Pulver

Welcome to Recognitions, a column dedicated to proclaim the writing successes of Writers' Village University members!

Dorice Nelson's The Gunn of Killearnan, a historical and romantic adventure, set in 1650 Scotland during the time of the War of the Covenant, involves Gerek Gunn, a man who must marry a woman not of his choosing before the end of his thirtieth year. Young Catriona MacFarr, the recalcitrant bride, vows not to marry the man her father chose for her. Unlawful relates the story of an Irish Viking, a minor queen and a clan to be conquered. 1863 Saratoga Summer follows a family caught up in the gang riots of New York. Dorice is currently working on the sequel to this novel. NovelBooks, Incorporated of Douglas, MA publishes all three books in both trade paperback and e-formats. "I was thrilled to have the first novel published but then worried and wondered if I were a one-book author. The fact that I have continued to get published has been the best part of it all. I love to write." An editor is considering her contemporary suspense novel.

"I've won or placed in eleven Romance Writers of America contests with the first two. By the time I got to my third book, [1863 Saratoga Summer], I was no longer eligible to compete. The Gunn of Killearnan was a finalist in the Notable New Authors of 2001 and the Holt Medallion and won the Love Romances Golden Rose Award as the best Historical and best E-Book of 2001. Unlawful won the Word Weaving Award of Excellence, and 1863 Saratoga Summer is nominated and a finalist for the Bloody Dagger Award. All three books were nominated for the Indy Awards."

Dorice, a lifetime member of WVU, started her journey with F2K (Writers' Village University's free creative writing course). She entered a week or so late and had to struggle to catch up. "It was well worth the effort." After joining WVU, she then joined the Word Slingers study group. She recently opened up the inactive Hole in the Wall Gang, a group doing some wonderful sessions in conjunction with activities to support them.

"I have most often found WVU to be very supportive, especially those in the administration. The idea of different study groups, with different study preferences, is wonderful. I have enjoyed many of the WVU courses as they have always helped to get my creative juices to flowing. I recommend the U at every chance I get."

Dorice never gives up, regardless of negative feedback, which sometimes occurs. "I have always kept my sights on getting published—and now, my sights are on writing every day. I have found this is the only way for me to continue with any success." Dorice advises, "Write, write, write." Visit Dorice's website  to find out more about her and her books.


D.K. Mayers, better known to her fellow Writers' Village University writers as Diana Kipka, received the honor of having her short story Blank Canvas published in the April edition of Writer's Hood.com. You will find Diana's story in the archives section at http://www.writershood.com/03mar/nonfiction.htm.

Diana joined WVU in November 2000 after taking F2K in September of the same year. "For so many years, I wrote on and off with bright spots of encouragement along the way from individual instructors and published writers. Nothing sustained over a long period of time what I have experienced with all the great and generous folks I have met at the University plus all the fabulous courses and study groups. I am so inspired and supported by the camaraderie I have found here. It has given me the impetus to submit my work to various venues. I have received a lot of great feedback on the story including one from Judy, another wonderful WVU-er who has encouraged and inspired me."

Another member of WVU, Donna Bedrick, (an editor at the Writer's Hood), encouraged Diana to submit her short story for publication "Donna Bedrick is one of those great and generous people I spoke of earlier. She sent out a call for short stories so I passed one onto her. Donna asked for a few revisions which I considered and that led to an expanded version."

Diana is currently working on a mainstream novel. With its beginnings in the Romance Writing course at WVU, The Stone Heart is a collection of inter-related short stories based on the children of the residents of Gorbals, an infamous and legendary tenement area of Glasgow, Scotland. In addition to her book and short story, Diana has some non-fiction articles and greeting card verses under consideration. "I am also learning the art of writing book reviews. I need 36-hour days."


Donna Sundblad's short story, Time to Love, appeared in the April issue of the Writer's Hood. It will be in the archives section for several months. "Everyone in the office knew my good news about having my story published immediately as I checked my e-mails. I got on the phone and called my husband and daughter to let them know I had been published, and when I arrived at home, I forwarded the link to all my friends and family."

Donna joined WVU last July and says it has been a great experience all around. "The classes along with feedback from peers continue to help me grow in my ability and discipline as a writer. I set goals that challenge and have more ideas than time to write."

Donna, the group coordinator, better known as Birdie in the Flash Fiction study group said, "It's a friendly, helpful group to work with while honing short stories (2,000 words or less) or chapters to a longer piece of work." She belongs to a second study group, Time Trading Nortonians Rule, where weekly writing exercises are posted along with prompts for the week. Donna credits this group for contributing to her growth as an author. "I use the exercises posted here to meet my goal of writing one short story per week."

Donna said that WVU helped her to focus on writing by providing the accountability she needs to stay on task. "Here I have learned the value of putting my story aside for a day or two and look at it from a fresh perspective. Within these halls I have met people who have been where I am and who are willing to help me along the way. The classes as well as study groups have assisted me in unveiling stories and themes I never knew existed within my imagination. My editing skills have moved from basic business writing skills to seeing things like ‘wordy words’ and repeated words within my story content, but the most important change has been to move from the passive voice to active in telling a tale."

One of the things that encouraged Donna in her writing here at WVU is the fact that she had six tips published in the WVU newsletter and a course she developed is being used to teach others. "The first writing tip I had published had to do with shopping for ideas. I told the story of seeing an unusual clock in a junk store that spurred a story. This story is the one that has been published. My first writer's tip and first published short story were based on the same visit to a junk store."


Mari Bushman's short story, Revenge, appeared in its Wanton Word on April 28, 2003 after earning second place in the Wanton Words Short Story Contest. "My first reaction to winning the contest was disbelief. It just so happened my parents were visiting from out of town, actually standing next to my computer when I read the email notification. I was a little shocked for a few hours (more like days) and my whole family went to the local steakhouse to celebrate. I have to keep reminding myself I took second place. Since this is my first piece to be published, it sure feels like I won the whole darn enchilada."

Before joining WVU, Mari took F2K and highly recommends it to anyone interested in writing. "When I signed up, I thought it might be a fluff course. You know, too easy. Wrong! They actually expected me to do something. I was impressed and that's what led me to join WVU in September of 2002. A member of the Crime and Punishment study group, Mari extols the way that WVU has aided her in her writing career. "It has helped me immeasurably and has been an invaluable experience. I've made some good friends and found a mentor, who is also one of my best friends. Through WVU, I'm honing my craft and for some reason, people put up with me—all the time. Go figure. What a great place this is!"

Mari has a four-year-old daughter, a late-in-life surprise, and a husband who supports her and her writing. "I like to joke that I have a BS degree from the School of Hard Knocks. (Really, it's hanging on the wall under my rejection slips...LOL). I live in the Panhandle of Texas and am currently at work on my fourth novel."

"Anyone who likes to write need not be afraid to write what's in your head," says Mari. After she glommed on to that little fact, she was hit by the buzz Stephen King mentions in his book, On Writing. "Now, I write two or three thousand words every day as a matter of course. I have to write. My day isn't complete if I can't get a few thousand words down. I usually write new stuff early in the day and then go to work on my revisions. I just wish I could share this buzz with everyone. Even if I never get another word published, I'll write for the rest of my life because I love the buzz."


When Kathy Kubik found out her poem, Songs In Red, would be published in the winter edition of Voices Online Magazine, she was elated since she had just started sending out her work. "I have been writing since I could pick up a pen. My definition of poetry is a song, a painting, a morsel of something tangible that calls out to me, sings to me. For me, reading poems is my fix, my 'trashy novel', pieces of me yet undiscovered, my hand in the cookie jar, soon to discover the milk chocolate morsels that have melted on my hands, and a reminder for later. Each poem I read becomes a part of me."

Kathy first joined WVU when she signed up for A Poet's Toolbox with Carol Malley. She has since completed P117, P119 and P121, the Advanced Poetry Free-form series, with Carol as the facilitator. "She has been a big part in my growth as a writer and is a main reason for me to join WVU. Ever since joining WVU my writing has improved, and I feel I have the tools and skills to advance my writing even further. The people I have met at WVU have been a big part in my development as well. The instructors and peers really take their time and give constructive feedback and great advice on making my writing even better. Being able to work with these mentors on a day-to-day basis has greatly helped me as a writer."

Congratulations, Dorice, Diana, Donna, Mari and Kathy. We wish you continued success in all your writing endeavors.

We look forward to reading about your writing accomplishments in this column. If you or someone you know received recognition for writing, please send the information to recognitions@wvu.org.  Let us know!
 



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Reviewing The Reviews

Writing Book Reviews for Print

Nannette Croce

Most writers are avid readers, spending a small fortune on new and used books to feed their reading habits. And a good many of us compulsively critique what we read, enviously admiring the way an author maintains conflict between two characters for 300 pages or silently chastising another for getting some Civil War dates scrambled. But many writers don't think about putting those constructive critiques to work for their portfolios or their checkbooks. Book reviewing is a great way to accumulate published clips, and while it’s usually not a paying market, you can get free review copies—a valuable perk for avid readers—plus it can lead to other paying assignments.

There’s a need for reviewers, too. True, many newspapers have cut back on their book sections. But literary and historical journals, particularly those that specialize, still have long lists of books crying for good reviews. The operative word here, though, is good. Lots of folks express opinions on the sites of online booksellers, but while these reviews may garner hundreds of “helpful” votes, they won't likely be picked up by print publications. Aside from adhering strictly to editorial guidelines, there are four things that separate an amateur review from a professional one: respect, objectivity, diplomacy, and good judgment.

Respect
A good print review shows respect not just for the author, but for the reader and editor as well. People who enjoyed the book or who are fans of the author don’t want to feel belittled, and book editors are rarely in it for the controversy.

If the review you are submitting is unsolicited, you’ll make a better first impression by reviewing a book or author you appreciate. Particularly in the case of literary and historical journals, editors may have a professional relationship with the authors being reviewed. They don’t want to rankle a former colleague or someone they’ll be seeing at the next conference.

If you’ve been assigned a book, you, of course, owe your readers an honest evaluation. That still doesn’t mean panning the entire work, and mean-spirited criticisms are never acceptable.

Even if you hated almost everything about the book you were assigned, always start your review with something positive. Many reviewers will begin by complimenting some of the author’s other works. Or you can comment on the author’s vast knowledge of his or her field. Once that’s done, you can follow with your criticism but be sure, as you go along, to intersperse some good points with the bad. If the writing was sophomoric, mention the well-developed characters. If the characters are clichés, mention the riveting plot.

Objectivity
Just as you wouldn’t think of submitting a one-line review like “this book stinks,” you also need to say more than “this book was great,” even if you spread that opinion over 600 words. In order to establish credibility with the editor and the reader, you must be specific about what made this a great book. If it’s the flowing prose or the realistic dialogue, include some examples of what you mean.

When reviewing non-fiction, it is equally important to point out errors if you find them. It could be something minor like an incorrect date in a footnote, or something major like attributing a victory to the wrong general. If it’s a tiny error that doesn’t refute the author’s premise or credentials, explain that, but don’t try to be magnanimous and overlook it because it could call your own knowledge of the subject into question.

Having said that, be sure you know what you are talking about. If you are not sure, re-check the facts or use a phrase like “based on my readings on the subject.” Also resist the impulse to play detective. In light of recent events, you may be anxious to point out where Joe Prolific lifted a few lines from someone else’s text, but don’t do it. Putting something like that in print can land you and your editor in hot water.

Should you ever suspect plagiarism, it’s best handled quietly. Unless you have a stake in the matter, explain to your editor that you don’t feel comfortable reviewing this book because you feel it too closely resembles a book by another author. Let him or her take it from there, and you step out of it.

Diplomacy
We writers often find it galling that someone who seems to be telling the same old story gets published, while the books we labored over so lovingly disappear under piles of rejection slips. But going on a tirade will simply ensure that not even your book reviews make it to print.

I’ve already pointed out the necessity for including positive comments. In addition, negative comments should be couched in diplomacy. Instead of “we’ve heard this story a million times…” try something like, “The characters were interesting, but the outcome of their actions was almost always predictable.” Besides being more publishable, such wording keeps you from being a target if and when your own work finally gets out there.

Diplomacy recognizes that reviews are about the book and the author, not the reviewer. Sure it’s a good way to showcase writing skills, but clever put-downs divert the reader’s attention, not to mention rubbing people the wrong way. Some non-fiction reviewers also feel the need to prove their knowledge by refuting an author’s ideas point by point. Discussing just a couple of points is usually enough. More is simply showing off.

Good Judgment
I once knew someone who loved to tell his friends every detail of the last funny movie he’d seen. He had a memory for detail and a great sense of humor, and often had us roaring with laughter. There was only one problem. When I actually saw the movie, it was like watching a re-run. I knew what was coming and it wasn’t nearly so funny the second time around.

The same thing happens when a book review gives too much away. It spoils the book for the reader and is grossly unfair to the author. However, it’s a trap that is easy to fall into. The person reading the review naturally wants to know a little bit about the story—but doesn't want to know the ending (or the surprises that turn up during the story). Where is the middle ground? Sometimes telling too much about the characters can destroy a good read as much as telling the whodunit in a mystery. On the other hand, if the complicated characters are what make this a great work, simply summarizing the plot might not be enough.

This one’s a tough call, but the best reviews give just a glimpse of the plot. If a brief description of the characters makes them appear one-dimensional or cardboard, you can state how adept the author is at peeling back the layers gradually, or assure the reader that some surprises are in store.

For non-fiction there is nothing wrong with explaining the premise or thesis. The author usually lays that out at the beginning anyway. However, if you include every bit of supporting evidence, your readers may see no reason to buy the book. The main issue here is whether the author has come up with original ideas and whether he or she uses new/primary sources. Just a few examples should be enough for a knowledgeable reader to know whether this is new or recycled material.

Do Unto Others
Ultimately, the best reviews pass the “Do Unto Others” test. That is, what kind of feedback do you look for on your own work? You certainly don’t want mean-spirited criticism, but praise that is empty and unsupported has no value either. What you want is feedback that incorporates respect, objectivity, diplomacy, and good judgment. If your review passes that test and adheres strictly to guidelines, editors will know that you are not just another amateur, and they will take your review seriously.





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Signs of Life

Nancy L. Horner

Moms are People, Too

My youngest son was in fourth grade during a year that we visited England twice, once with the children and once without. When one of his teachers overheard William chattering about our journeys, she asked me to talk to her class about England. William immediately began bouncing up and down in front of us, begging me to please, please, please come talk to his class, please. Like most people, I detest speaking in front of groups of any sort. But, my son was enthusiastic, so I agreed and a date was set.

The week of my little presentation arrived at an inopportune time. I'd been nauseous and unable to eat more than a few spoonfuls of food a couple times per day for over three days. But, the school year was nearly over; rescheduling would be impossible. I didn't have a fever, so I knew that I was unlikely to have a communicable stomach bug. Plus, I'd already set aside photos, maps, coins and souvenirs to show the children; and William was more than a little excited about having Mom visit his class.

So, on the morning of the talk, I gathered my props and put them in a big, plastic beach bag after donning one of my favorite shirts, a comfy knit in lime green and white stripes. I managed to cram down three bites of oatmeal and a swig of soda pop, which promptly threatened to rebel on me. I was nervous enough without having to worry about a messed-up stomach, so I quickly took a spoonful of anti-nausea medicine, grabbed the beach bag and headed for school.

The children filed into the room about ten minutes after I'd finished setting all the visual tools on a long table. Before I began to speak, the teacher, Mrs. Abbe, introduced me and told the children what I was going to talk about.

"Now, you'll need to sit still and listen to Mrs. Horner but you may ask questions if you have them. Just be sure to raise your hand and wait until she calls on you."

A little girl's hand promptly shot up into the air.

"That was fast," I said. "What would you like to know?"

The little girl leaned forward and pointed a finger at me. "What's that stuff on your shirt?"

I looked down and in the middle of my green-and-white striped shirt was a long streak of red medicine that I'd unknowingly spilled before dashing out the door. I could feel my face reddening to the color of the stain. "Um, that's some medicine I spilled on myself. I didn't know I did that."

There was a bit of shared laughter and then the teacher said, "See, even mothers sometimes spill things!"

The talk went rather well, after that point. The children were wiggly but attentive, they asked intelligent questions and they seemed to enjoy looking at the photos and trinkets that I passed around.

As I loaded my bag to leave, Mrs. Abbe returned from escorting the children to their next classroom. She thanked me for my time and told me she and the children enjoyed the presentation.

"It went much better than I expected," I admitted to her. And, I thought to myself, it also taught me an important lesson. When speaking in front of people, it's really helpful to get the embarrassing moment out of the way right at the beginning. A little preliminary humiliation made the rest of my presentation feel like it went by quickly and easily.



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Writer's Read

Wynelda-Ann Shelton

Escaping Into the Open: The Art of Writing True


Escaping Into the Open: The Art of Writing True
By Elizabeth Berg
Harper Perennial, © 1999
ISBN 0-06-092929-4
$12.00 USD, $18.50 Canada

Escaping Into the Open: The Art of Writing True by Elizabeth Berg is one of the few writing books that I read straight through, then went back and reread the entire book with highlighter in hand. And yes, I defaced some of the pages with that yellow highlighter. I wanted to make sure that I could come back and revisit, quickly, some of my favorite things about the book.

One of my favorite things, and one of the first to be highlighted, is the section in which Berg talks about the pride a writer should have:

Listen to me. You need to be a home for yourself and your work. You need to be the safe place to present things to be admired and loved. Never mind what anyone else has to say about your work, be it good or bad. Know that it’s necessary that you love your work, and let yourself do that. Relish what you are doing; whether you succeed or fail in the eyes of the outer world has nothing to do with the fact that you are answering a calling and making art as best you can.” (Page 35)
Love your work. It seems so easy, and yet can be hard to do. I’ve often had self-doubt twisting my fingers and making my words come out all wrong. Is it good enough? Will anyone get it? Maybe it has too much cursing. Maybe there’s not enough sex. This plot has been done to death. The questions plague me even though I know that when I let myself fly, when I really enjoy writing, it shows.

There’s a lesson in there somewhere. As Berg herself says, “You have to take a deep breath, let go of your usual control, and then begin walking in the dark.” (Page 104)

Be confident enough to walk in the dark. Be confident enough to love your work and stand by it.

But above all, be confident enough to keep writing.

No matter what.


 

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Submissions Guidelines (Updated)

Until further notice, only plain text submissions in the body of the email will be considered.
NO ATTACHMENTS.

What We Pay For

Fiction: Stories should be of interest to writers in general, not just a narrow group.

Fiction should be submitted to fiction@thewritersezine.com. Payment starts at $15.00.

If considered for publication, you will be asked to return an email agreement including your name and address.

Craft Features: Queries about Craft features should be sent to nonfiction@thewritersezine.com.

Payment starts at $15.00, and, if considered, you will be sent an email agreement to fill out and return.

Poetry: Due to the large number of recent poetry submissions, a temporary hold on further poetry submissions is in place until early 2008.

Please do not email us to ask what we pay for in other categories. When we can add to our list, we will include it in these guidelines.

What We Publish

Original short fiction, poetry, and non-fiction, particularly non-fiction related to the craft of writing and interviews.

For fiction we prefer something with a plot and resolution. If we like the main character, we are more likely to accept the story. If the main character has a problem to resolve or has to make a choice, that's conflict, and we love conflict! Too many writers confuse conflict with fight scenes. Don't be one of them. Give us a protagonist who acts, makes choices no matter how hard they are to solve his or her dilemma, not a wimp who drifts along and has to be rescued.

Non-fiction should be related to the craft of writing or be good resource material for writers. Accuracy and originality are vital. No reprints. If it has already been published somewhere else, our readers will spot it and let us know.

What We Won't Publish

Anything that inspires "hate," is defamatory or is pornographic.

Simultaneous submissions.

Material that has appeared elsewhere (reprints).

Seasonal material submitted during the same month (i.e., a Christmas story in December). Our lead time is short compared to print publications, but we do need time to edit, html and proof submission. A good guideline is to submit the manuscript by the first of the preceding month (i.e., submit a Christmas story before November 1st).

Length Recommendations

  • For Fiction, under 1500 words is preferred. We will consider excerpts from longer works.

  • Poetry should fit on one printed page if possible. A maximum of five poems may be submitted at one time (when the hold is lifted).

  • Non-fiction or Craft features have the most leeway in word count. In general these manuscripts should be 750 to 2,000 words. We like to take advantage of the hypertext capabilities we have available and link to charts, graphs, lists and so forth. Thumbnail versions may be included in the body of the article.

Rights

All rights other than first electronic, non-exclusive 'anthology' (for collections of T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine works only), and non-exclusive archival rights (we keep back issues online) are and remain the sole and exclusive property of the author.

Formats We Will Accept

Plain text in the body of an email.

T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine is an HTML publication. This gives us access to a variety of options but it is also a limiting factor.

  • Underlining is used exclusively for links in HTML. Please do not underline in your manuscript. It you are including a link to a webpage for reference, please mark the link the following way: (WEB LINK) http://thewritersezine.com (END WEB LINK).
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  • Fonts need to be simple. No multiple fonts. We prefer standard fonts such as Times New Roman, Courier or Arial set at 12 point. If your subject matter requires something else, ask us first.
  • The curly (smart) quotes, apostrophes, the em dash (two hyphens together) and ellipsis … (three periods) become strange and exotic characters when copied from your word processor into email. Check your preferences or options to see if you can use straight quotes. 
  • Text formatting such as bold, italic, centering, bullet list, etc., should be noted in the text by using all caps in parentheses. For example, if you wanted to italicize the word submission, you would type: (ITALICS) submission (END ITALICS).

Editing

We expect you to run spell-check and to check your grammar and punctuation before submitting. We will not reject a submission for a few typos or errors, but will if there are an excessive number of errors.

Note: Since our reading audience is international, we do not require a specific version of English. Use the spelling appropriate to your region.

We will automatically correct obvious typos such as “ton” for “not” and may correct simple agreement problems. For anything beyond that, time permitting, we will return the submission to you with a request for corrections.

Getting to Know You

Fiction and Craft features published in T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine include brief third person biographical notes on the writers. For all submissions, please compose your own bio and include it to save our editors and yourself time later if/when your piece is accepted for publication. We suggest sharing a little about your background, occupation, geographical location and what inspired your story.

How and Where to Submit

We do not accept submissions via US mail. Email submissions only, to the appropriate department, in the body of the email. No attachments accepted.

Fiction should be sent to fiction@thewritersezine.com.

Craft Non-fiction should be queried first. Send query to nonfiction@thewritersezine.com.

Poetry: Due to the large number of recent poetry submissions, a temporary hold on further poetry submissions is in place until early 2008.

Include the type of submission (fiction, non-fiction) in the subject line.

Be sure to include your name and email address in the body of the email.

If you do not receive an acknowledgement that your submission or query was received within a week, please send a follow-up query with “Did you Receive?” in the subject line. In the body of the email, please include your name and email address, the title of the work submitted, and if different, the email address sent from. Do not resend the submission unless we request it.

Good luck!


T-Zero: The Writer's Ezine
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Copyright 1998 - 2007, Writopia Inc. All Rights Reserved

 

© Copyright 1998 - 2007, Writopia Inc. All rights reserved