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Drabble Corner

Michelle Swisz

Here is our August Drabble, by Jessica Michaan, on the topic of what draws you forward into life.

This Is Life

The dark, familiar surroundings made her feel at ease as soon as she went in. She spotted her friends at their usual corner and took a seat on her favorite leather couch. Conversation continued to flow as the waiter brought her a glass of wine without her ordering it. As she smoked banana flavored tobacco from the water pipe her mind wandered from the topic on the table to the good music that was playing. She glanced over at the DJ and gave him a thumbs-up sign. Then, she felt her boyfriend squeezing her hand and thought, “this is life!”

Sometimes in life we have one vision, and sometimes that vision changes, big time. This past month has been particularly internal for me, even in this idyllic summer weather. Especially in this weather, I think—the sun has been warmly nurturing, and not blasting hot, and the air is sweet and salty with jasmine and seaweed. It's been perfect for contemplation.

What I came up with during and after my daily contemplative walks both did and didn't surprise me. I found out that I don't want many of the sorts of things in life that I've thought for so long I surely did want. One thing I've found is that I'm braver than I thought. I'll start all over again somewhere new, thousands of miles away, if that will let me have the life my heart wants. 

For me, being single and right now more open to suggestions from the universe than usual, it's been a perfect time to go in—to go inside myself and discover what it was that I've been hiding from myself out of fear that the discovery would mess up what I had going. Going in is much more than a reassessment for me. It's getting deep enough into what I want out of life and myself that what comes up is surprising, but at the same time recognizable as myself, even more so than before, in fact, because after all, it's from the heart. It's a dialog with the heart. It's a little bit like the transition from point A—wanting to be a ballerina or fireman until that vision just doesn't match anymore with what you've grown into being—to point B, asking yourself, now, what is it that I do really want? It doesn't mean rejection of the things and people you've loved, but instead a more informed and mature vision of what really suits you, and of what you can do and are willing to do.
 
The question of what your heart wants, unasked, I think, can burn a hole in it. So if you'd like, ask your heart what it is that it wants. That's going in—and that's our theme for September's Drabble, Going In. Remember to check the Guidelines. In brief, a Drabble is 100 words exactly, excluding the title, and is due by the 10th of the month before the column comes out. So, Drabbles for September are due by August 10th. Send them to drabble@wvu.org. See you next time.