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Five Senses in Your Writing

In recent columns we’ve taken an in-depth look at passive language and how to eliminate it in our writing. But what do you do when you’ve scratched the passive and still feel your writing lacks the action to really drive the story forward within the reader’s imagination?

Five Senses
In my book Pumping Your Muse, I challenge writers with exercises that reach deep into the imagination’s recesses where these creative exercises carry the muse on a journey designed to force ideas in resourceful new directions of development. The goal is to pull together bits and pieces or reality and learn to blend them within the fiction-creating process. Adding subtle sensory details works like sensual brush strokes that craft multi-levels of dimension by engaging the reader’s senses.

In real life, details flood our senses on a subconscious level. A hint of smoke presented within the context of your story may warn the character of an electrical fire, or allow them to reminisce about a romantic interlude basking in the firelight, or could even remind them of the invigorating smell of burning of leaves on a crisp fall day.

Good writers furnish this minutia with three-dimensional realism. The trick is to learn to include this information without overpowering the story with overly descriptive passages which bog the story’s pace and sometimes lose the reader. Your goal as a writer is to make the world you portray a real experience. As your reader walks through the pages of your story, engaging the senses allows them to experience the veracity of the world you create.

Moving the Story Along
Sensory information plays an important part in moving your story along. A sound, a scent—such detail provides subtle clues for the reader to follow. Engaging the senses makes a fictional world more real by adding dimension and realism. Stop and take note of your current setting. What do you see, hear, smell, taste and feel? Our brains take in this information subconsciously most times and that’s how you need to present it in your writing. A natural but delicate flow of information.

Pay attention to sounds around you, but not just that—ask yourself what they make you think or feel. Reactions are based on input—sensory input. One goal as a writer is to engage readers so they feel the character’s reaction as if they live in the character’s skin.

If your character hides in the woods and hears the crackling of twigs, the reader should feel fear or at least apprehension. A musky scent draws the character’s attention to a wild pig rooting in the moist earth and lets out a breath—the reader will relax—until gruff snorts and bristling hair on the back of the animal’s neck, and a flash of tusks sends the character rushing blindly through dense foliage. Readers see through the characters eyes when writers provide the right sensory information. It not only makes the story come alive, but it eliminates the need to tell the reader what’s going on or how a character is feeling. Instead, sensory input pulls them into the story to experience it first hand.

In real life, our thoughts wander, but even as they seem to meander from topic to topic, they do follow logic. Writers can create natural segues with the use of sensory details. If your character hears someone laugh and it reminds them of someone they once knew, it provides a natural transition to include backstory without dumping the information in an awkward or obtrusive way. In the same way, if your character smells a hint of electrical smoke it makes sense that they will look for the source. If they come to the laundry room door and it feels hot, many readers will know the character should not open the door—if they do, the reader will brace for the explosion of flame.

The Five Senses
Incorporating all the senses provides familiarity and understanding for the reader. It helps them connect. This sensory information can be used to:

Transition between the present and important backstory

Example: The fresh scent of rain combined with a moist earthy aroma. I stared out at the wilted fields. A curtain of humidity wrapped around me. The rain had come too late.

In this case the sense of smell opens the door to the scene and allows a transition that could take the reader back to the struggle to keep the crops alive and the introduction to the lives of those who depended on those crops. On the other hand, these particular details could also propel the story forward. What will the character do now?

Tie the beginning of the story to the end

Since you’ll want to weave this sensory information throughout your story, it is an effective way to tie the beginning of the story to the end.

Example: I couldn’t bear the sorrowful faces filling grandmother’s house. I stepped outside for a breath of fresh air and headed to the garden where we had talked so many years before. The light floral scent of lilacs drifted lazily on the summer breeze. I breathed deep and closed my eyes. Grandma stood with me just as she promised. I could feel her.

In this case, we could follow the character through life as an adolescent to adulthood and tie it back to the beginning when they had a life-changing conversation in that same garden. Who knows, maybe even another niece or nephew could walk out to join the character—the thing is that the scent is the trigger to tie the past to the present.

Evoke emotional responses to create suspense, happiness, fear and more.

Humans are emotional creatures by our very nature. The world around us offers stimuli and we react to it.

Example: The lights blinked and darkness swallowed the room. A surreal coldness fell upon her like a shroud. A slight scent of garlic reminded her of something. A faint memory that tickled her mind like wind brushing leaves of a tree on a summer’s day. She rubbed her arms and stepped blindly forward, her foot tapping in front of her like a blind man’s cane.

This short example can evoke an uneasiness when the lights go out. The coldness kicks up the tension. A hint of garlic would add a bit of curiosity—how does it fit in—what is it? She seems to know, but for some reason has blocked it out. Now she moves forward and we are in her skin. How do you feel?

Nerve Network
Our bodies are designed with a network of nerves. This network sends information to our brains with no effort on our part. As a writer, you create that network from the story to the reader. If panic makes the hairs on the back of your protagonist's neck prickle, the reader should feel it. If they experience a touch of numbness in their index finger, it needs to be part of the information collected by the reader's brain—but the information must serve a purpose. If the reader knows of the numbness, they’ll know later on that the character can withstand an abnormal amount of pain using that finger. Sensory information needs to matter to the plot. The trick is to find the balance.

As writers, we need enough sensatory detail to make our fictional world real, but not so much that it bogs down the action. Think of it more like a trail of breadcrumbs, leading your reader down the path you want them to take. At times, it may even be a misleading trail. Such techniques can be used to create an unforeseen twist in the plot or action.

About the Author
Author and freelance writer, Donna Sundblad, resides in Georgia with her husband, Rick. Together, they are working on a budgeting book that will be out in electronic format in 2007. Donna serves as the Fantasy Topic Editor at Inspired Author, and her books, Pumping Your Muse and Windwalker are available in paper or ebook formats at epress-online.com. Check her website for more information at www.theinkslinger.net.